The urge to take an afternoon snooze has grown stronger in recent times – particularly since I started working from home. And, if I'm being honest, I've caved and used my lunch break to take a nap on more than a few occasions.

But I could never shake the grogginess and guilt that hung over me the rest of the day. Catching a few extra winks didn't exactly feel like a productive use of my time. And was it possible that I felt even more tired than before?

The Science Behind the Afternoon Slump

It turns out that I’m not alone in feeling a little sleepy. In fact, research shows that more than a third of adults in the U.S. don't get enough sleep and a quarter of Brits report feeling tired "most of the time." This can severely impact your energy levels throughout the day.

Many of us will be familiar with the afternoon slump. Usually occurring between 1 p.m. and 3 p.m., this drop in our energy levels can be caused by all sorts of factors: from natural dips in our circadian rhythm or a carbohydrate-heavy lunch to more serious issues such as insomnia, anemia or hypothyroidism.

Not only can persistent fatigue be bad for your health, but it can also severely impact your work. Productivity can dip, mistakes can creep in, and it can even affect your memory. In the U.S., poor sleep is believed to cost the economy $411 billion every year.

The Power of Napping

When your eyelids are feeling a little heavy, you might be tempted to reach for the caffeine or simply power through to the end of the day. Instead, research suggests that napping may well be the answer.

Napping is no longer a luxury reserved just for children. Scientists are encouraging working adults to step back from their rigid routines and rest their eyes for just 30 minutes a day. In return, power nappers reported feeling more energized, focused and creative. Long-term napping may even help your ability to learn and prevent brain shrinkage!

But does it actually work? Well, there was only one way to find out: I put the theory to the test and took a power nap every day for a week, and these were the results.

Do Naps Really Work?

Monday

A busy weekend and a late Sunday night added up to a sluggish Monday morning for me. Frankly, I was looking forward to getting some more sleep. Through my research, I’d found that 20 minutes seemed to be the optimal amount of time for a power nap, though I’ll admit I was a little skeptical that it would be enough to tackle my fatigue.

When my afternoon slump bore down on me at 2 p.m., I set the timer on my phone and shut my eyes. Perhaps it was the pressure of trying to make the most of those precious 20 minutes, or maybe it was just my neighbor’s love of loud drum 'n' bass, but I certainly didn’t sleep. However, I was pleasantly surprised that I still felt rested.

Tuesday

After the previous day's noisy distraction, I chose a quieter location for my nap. I was pleased to find that I was able to fall asleep this time around. The alarm ringing in my ear was an unwelcome wake-up call, however, and did leave me feeling a bit grouchy.

Wednesday

Disaster hit on Wednesday. I managed to sleep through my alarm and napped for a whole 45 minutes. I was totally disoriented and paranoid that I could have lost even more of my day, so Wednesday did not turn out as productive or relaxing as I'd hoped.

Thursday

It was a busy day of meetings and deadlines, so it wasn't until 4 p.m. that I managed to find time to shut my eyes. By this point, however, the afternoon slump had been and gone so I pretty much just relaxed on the sofa for 20 minutes. Not that I was complaining!

Friday

By the end of the week, I felt much more confident. I'd found the best spot in my flat for a midday kip and had gathered a handful of guided meditations to help me doze off. I had mastered the power nap and I was able to tackle my afternoon with enough energy to complete my to-do list – and with time to spare!

What Makes the Perfect Power Nap?

It's safe to say that I'm now a convert to the power napping movement. But it took a little while to find the right balance, and everyone's routine will be different. So, if you're looking to incorporate power naps into your working day, here are the answers to some questions you may be asking yourself.

When Should I Nap?

This will depend on your schedule, but experts suggest timing your nap midway between waking up in the morning and going to bed in the evening. For most people, this will fall around 2 p.m. to 3 p.m., when your circadian rhythm is naturally inclined to dip.

Listen to your body: if you feel your energy waning, this may be its way of telling you that it needs sleep. But be careful about napping too late in the day or you may struggle to get to sleep later.

Where Should I Nap?

It might sound obvious, but a quiet spot is best for an effective nap. High-traffic areas will be too distracting so try to find a comfortable space where you can shut out the noise and focus on your rest. This will likely be easier if you work from home but sleep pods are a great option if you want a place to snooze in the office!

How Do I Nap?

Thoughts of upcoming meetings, deadlines, and growing to-do lists can prevent you from making the most of your power nap. In these instances, I found it helpful to listen to music or guided meditations. Earplugs are also useful if, like me, you struggle with noisy neighbors.

How Long Should I Nap For?

The ideal nap length will vary from person to person, but the prevailing advice is for somewhere between 15 to 30 minutes.

I often found it tempting to ignore the alarm and go back to sleep. But after a short adjustment period, 20 minutes was enough time to fend off the afternoon slump without feeling groggy or sacrificing my entire lunch break.

How to Improve Your Sleep Hygiene

Napping may have many benefits, but experts are clear that this should not be treated as a remedy for "sleep debt" – when you sleep fewer hours than your body needs.

Your ideal amount of sleep will depend on factors such as your metabolic rate and chronotype (your inclination to sleep at a certain time). But most adults need at least seven hours of sleep every night. The more of these hours you miss, the more sleep debt you'll accumulate.

So, if your fatigue persists, it may be time to reassess your nighttime routine. A healthy diet, exercise, and reduced screen time are all simple and effective ways to get a better night's sleep. If your symptoms don't improve, be sure to seek medical advice.

Napping in the Workplace

From siestas to the Japanese practice of inemuri (sleeping at work), it's clear that some parts of the world have been quicker to incorporate afternoon naps into their schedules than others. But as evidence grows to support the benefits of naps, sleep could well become a more commonplace fixture in our working routines!

Useful Resources:

Getting a Good Night’s Sleep
Rest, Relaxation and Sleep
Why We Sleep: The New Science of Sleep and Dreams
The Science of a Good Night’s Sleep
10 Ways to Get a Better Night’s Sleep
Energizing Yourself
How to Relax After a Hard Day

About the Author

Content Editor Rosie Robinson is a passionate and eclectic learner. She's relearning Japanese, taking singing lessons, and has just completed a screenwriting course. With a background in illustration, she loves to produce attractive and eye-catching content. Rosie works on a variety of Mind Tools resources and is a key part of our video team: writing scripts, helping to run filming days with presenters and actors, and creating montage videos of her own. She advises others to say yes to any opportunities that arise. "Chances are, you’ll be able to pick up the new skills you need much faster than you thought."

The post Sleeping on the Job: Can Napping at Work Boost Performance? appeared first on Mind Tools.

Despite the cost of poor mental health running at $1 trillion globally, according to the World Health Organization, significant numbers of businesses are not getting it done when it comes to looking after the wellbeing of their employees.

What Is Wellbeing Washing?

A recent study by Claro Wellbeing found that more than a third of employers are "wellbeing washing" – the practice of supporting mental health publicly but not supporting the workforce internally when it really comes down to it.

Claro's survey revealed that while 70 percent of workplaces celebrated mental health awareness days, only 30 percent of them actually had mental health support that was deemed good or outstanding by their employees.

Yes, it's all very well championing awareness campaigns (like Mental Health Month), but, much like the saying "a dog is not just for Christmas," wellbeing issues don't magically disappear when the event is over.

So lots of regular quizzes and games for fun, but consistently overworking people or expecting unpaid overtime is the sort of thing we’re talking about here. Table tennis and yoga, but no flexible working or employee assistance programs.

Do Businesses Really Care About Employees?

The research found that under half of businesses offered employees access to a helpline, while 44 percent offered counseling, and only 39 percent had mental health first aiders.

Digging a little deeper, the perception employees have of their employers' attempts to look after their wellbeing is even worse.

A report from global HR consultants MHR revealed that 62 percent of employees believed their employer did not care about their mental wellbeing, while 55 percent said they felt pressured to hide their mental health concerns at work. Ouch.

And in the wake of the likes of the Great Resignation and quiet quitting, it's clear that it makes business sense to take care of your workforce – or you risk retention and recruitment crises.

Or, as the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development puts it, "Investing in employee wellbeing can lead to increased resilience, better employee engagement, reduced sickness absence, and higher performance and productivity."

Investing in Employee Wellbeing

So what should employers be providing, and what shouldn't they bother with, to avoid wellbeing washing? A recent poll by the Institution of Occupational Safety and Health offered some interesting and, in some cases, controversial insights.

Examples of staff "benefits" not wanted or needed included:

• Online "wellbeing services."
• Employee assistance programs that focus on out-of-hours issues but don't deal with work-related matters.
• Discounts on holidays (which are still too expensive).
• Wellbeing walks (but with no time to go on them).
• Fruit and ice cream.
• Shopping discounts (but having to pay for staff parking).
• Mental health first aid (described as a "box-ticking" exercise that can sometimes see untrained volunteers do more harm than good).

Moving on, benefits workers say they're not getting but would actually welcome included:

• Work risk assessments for stress.
• Access to a wider variety of healthy lifestyle classes, not just gym membership or yoga.
• More support for women going through the menopause.
• Better mental health support.
• Better management.
• Flexible working.
• A more responsive attitude to worker surveys.

Food, if not fruit, for thought.

Further Resources

Mental Health in the Workplace
Personal Financial Stress and Wellbeing
How Happy Is Your Team Member?
What Is Corporate Social Responsibility?

About the Author:

Kevin began training as a journalist on his local newspaper in 1989. He went on to spend 17 years at The Sun newspaper as a sports journalist and travel writer, and his work has been published in The Daily Telegraph, The Times and The Sunday Times. He joined the Mind Tools content team in 2019 and is also a keen golfer, traveler and eater.

The post Wellbeing Washing: Is "Wellness" Coming Out in the Wash? appeared first on Mind Tools.

But emotions have their place at work, much as many of us like to pretend that our jobs are all business. Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy have written two excellent books on the topic. "No Hard Feelings" describes the need and value of bringing your emotions to work in a balanced way, while "Big Feelings" discusses how to deal with the difficult feelings we all face at times.

Sometimes we're dealing with big feelings in our personal lives. We might need support. And acknowledging and addressing our emotional needs can help us to get our work done.

Feelings Too Big to Hide at Work

Last year, I struggled with my big feelings around major life transitions. I hadn't mentioned these personal events to any colleagues. Then I attended a team-building event where the whole company got together.

It started with an ice-breaker exercise and I found myself face-to-face with the head of the whole company. We had a question to discuss that looked innocent on the surface, but it also got a bit personal. As I started answering the question, I began to cry, right in front of him.

He didn't know the context for my breakdown, as it wasn't really contained in the question or my answer. But I'm grateful for his kind and even-handed response. It was a wake-up call for me that I needed support during this tough time. My feelings were too big to keep to myself – and too overwhelming to successfully fence off from my working life.

Finding Support

Ultimately, work is what helped me navigate these big feelings. I spoke to supportive colleagues about my life changes. I also attended a program called "Tea and Talk," offered by my company's Mental Health First Aid initiative. One colleague led these monthly sessions, facilitating laid-back discussions around a mental health topic while we all chatted over coffee or tea.

Sometimes we need to take time off to navigate big feelings. For me, it was the opposite – I found that my work provided a necessary distraction from getting too overwhelmed by emotions.

Having something useful to do helped me feel productive during a difficult time. And when I needed to take small breaks during the day to process emotions by doing things like taking a walk or grabbing a cup of tea, my flexible working schedule allowed me to take them.

Feeling and Connecting

Bringing my feelings to work, like I'm doing right now in this blog, helps me connect with others, whether it's through the content I write or my relationships with colleagues. I've realized that knowing how to handle my emotions in a healthy way makes me better at my job.

So, don't leave your big feelings behind when you start your workday. They won't stay there. Learn how to bring them gracefully into your professional life, and they'll enrich the work you do!

Listen to Our "Big Feelings and No Hard Feelings" Book Insight

We review the best new business books and the tested classics in our monthly Book Insights, available as text or as 15-minute audio recordings.

So, if you're a Mind Tools Club member or corporate user, listen to the "Big Feelings and No Hard Feelings" Book Insight now!

If you haven't already signed up, join the Mind Tools Club and gain access to our 2,400+ resources, including 390+ Book Insights. For corporate licensing, ask for a demo with one of our team.

About the Author

Melanie has worked as a writer, freelance and in-house editor, university writing instructor, and language teacher. She is the author of a short story collection, "Dream Signs," and a non-fiction book, "The Modern Enneagram." Melanie has written for several publications including Huffington Post, Cicada, and Contrary Magazine. And she is a certified teacher of the Enneagram, a personality typology that illuminates people's core motivations.

The post When Big Feelings Come to Work  appeared first on Mind Tools.

People of all cultures grieve; we all feel sorrow, loss and despair. We just show it in different ways. When it comes to grieving, for some cultures the focus is often placed on the individual. This can make it an extremely isolating and lonely experience.

However, in other cultures collective grief is common. Families, friends and communities lean in to support each other and grieve together. Here, death is not to be feared and is not a taboo topic.

Our understanding of the nature of grief and bereavement has undergone a transformational change. Previously received wisdom regarded grief as linear. It defined bereavement as working through emotions, with the goal being to move on and live without the person who died.

A Pathway Through Grief

Today the focus is on understanding the benefits to bereaved people of integrating the memory of their loved one into their lives.

There is more recognition that death ends a life, not necessarily a relationship, and that this process can be healthy and is not a denial of the death.

More recent theories also consider the cognitive, social, cultural, and spiritual dimensions of grief and loss. As a society, it's important to recognize that it's valuable for bereaved people to talk and to think about the person who has died. Better than encouraging them to "get over" their bereavement.

Experts no longer talk about "moving on," but instead see grief as a way of adapting to loss while forming a continuing bond with the lost loved one.

Growing Around Grief

Tonkin's (1996) theory of "growing around grief" suggests grief remains the same size, but the person's life grows around it. As a bereavement counselor, this model has proved very helpful with people I've supported. Mainly due to the removal of the expectation that there needs to be "closure." A lot of people are, understandably, fearful of this.

It's important to note that although clinical research has expanded our understanding of the distinctive symptoms, risk factors, and psychological processes (which have contributed to more appropriate support for bereaved people), there is no justifiable "one size fits all” model or approach to grief.

A feeling of loneliness is something that is reported by nearly all of the clients I have worked with. They may have family and friends around them, but they are alone with their thoughts and their grief.

People shy away from checking in, not knowing what to say. Or they offer support initially and then distance themselves, leaving people alone with their grief. It can be an additional loss, where the people that you least expect become strangers.

Listen, Don't Judge

"Is what I'm feeling normal?" is a question I get asked a lot, and the answer is "Yes." The physical and emotional symptoms of grief can be frightening and overwhelming. They can be so heightened that people are convinced that they have a serious cognitive or medical issue.

I've found that normalizing the responses people have, and giving reassurance that grief can manifest itself in many ways, can help to alleviate this additional concern that is weighing heavily on top of people's grief.

"To share something that is very personal with another individual and it is not received and understood is a very deflating and lonely experience. I know that when I try to share some feeling aspect of myself, which is private, precious and tentative, and this communication is met by evaluation (judgment), reassurance and distortion of my meaning, my very strong reaction is 'Oh, what's the use!' At such a time, one knows what it is to be alone."

A Way of Being, Carl Rogers (1980)

This is a quote often used in bereavement support training, as it helps people to understand the importance of respect, empathy and validation when supporting someone.

You don't have to have the answers, you don't have to "fix" anything, that person may not want your opinion. "Toxic positivity" is also unhelpful. It's much better to regularly check in, take time to be present and empathically listen without judgment.

7 Tips for Truly Supporting the Bereaved

I've learned something in every single encounter during my years as a counselor supporting grieving people through their bereavement. Here's a brief summary of the things I've found most helpful during that time. Hopefully, they'll help you too when the time comes:

• Respect, empathy and genuineness are the core conditions of helping (Carl Rogers).
• It's better to say something than nothing.
• "How are you?"... ask twice, so that people know you are being genuine. Continue to ask. There is no time limit on this.
• If you think the individual is feeling overwhelmed or bombarded with questions like, "How are you feeling?" consider sending a note or a card. Or see if there is any way that you can support them practically, e.g., with their workload.
• Each bereavement is unique and so each person's grieving is unique.
• Grieving is not an entirely private process; it has social and relational aspects which need the engagement of others.
• There's no one size fits all for support. Some people will research and read books, support groups can be a comfort for some, and others may prefer individual counseling.

FURTHER READING

Mind Tools Chief Executive John Yates lost his daughter, 18, while she was on her gap year holiday in Asia. You can read this moving account of his daughter, the grief and the aftermath by downloading the story below.

You may also find the following articles helpful for reflecting on grief. You'll need to be a Mind Tools Club or Corporate member to see all of the resources in full:

Working Through Grief

Coping With Grief and Loss in A Virtual Team

How to Manage a Grieving Team Member

About the Author:

Kate Peters is a Mental Health and Wellbeing Consultant, Mental Health First Aid Trainer and Inclusion and Accessibility Lead at PeopleUnboxed.

The post Grief: Finding a Way Through appeared first on Mind Tools.

Sounded easy enough, but it wasn't. After 14 years as a journalist, this was to be my first ever shift at a national newspaper, a job I'd wanted to do for as long as I could remember.

I looked up at the big clock, emblazoned with my new employer's name, and took a deep breath. I stepped into the elevator and pressed "six."

But as it lurched upwards, I couldn't seem to turn off that voice in my head telling me, "You’re not good enough. You'll never match up to these people working here. Just go home and do something else – anything else."

I almost didn't get off when those doors opened. But I did. "This is your chance," I told myself, "You've trained for this, you're good enough, you can do it."

As it turned out, I could, and did, do it for the next 17 years. Yes, it took a while to get to grips with the processes, the IT, the characters, and the culture, but that's the same in any job.

Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone

I guess it's natural to have a moment of doubt when you take that great leap into the unknown: a feeling new managers know all too well.

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right."

Industrialist and inventor, Henry Ford

Aside from learning new skills and procedures, managers need to build a successful team and maintain good relationships with their team members, all while in a new position of greater authority. Not to mention making a good impression on the C-suite.

All these new pressures and responsibilities can be daunting, to say the least, and make any new manager lose faith in themselves.

Three Steps to Believe in Yourself

Fundamentally, what you'll need to succeed in all of the above is a combination of self-confidence, self-esteem and self-efficacy. Let's face it, if you don't believe in yourself, your team and the people around you probably won't either.

So, what are these magic ingredients for successfully overcoming the challenges that a new role can throw at us?

• Self-confidence is trusting your own judgment, capacities and abilities. It's about valuing yourself, regardless of any imperfections, or what others may believe about you.
• Self-efficacy is gained when we see ourselves mastering skills and achieving goals. It encourages us to believe that if we learn and work hard, we'll succeed. It's the type of confidence that means we take on difficult challenges and keep going in the face of setbacks.
• Self-esteem is a more general sense that we can cope with what's going on in our lives, and that we have a right to be happy. It also comes, in part, from the feeling that the people around us approve of us. If we experience persistent criticism or rejection from others, our self-esteem can easily suffer – unless we support it in other ways.

And that's worth doing for a myriad of reasons. According to a 2022 study, high self-esteem "helps individuals adapt to and succeed in a variety of life domains, including having more satisfying relationships, performing better at school and work, enjoying improved mental and physical health, and refraining from antisocial behavior."

Thankfully, there are plenty of strategies you can use to boost your self-confidence, -esteem and -efficacy. Ones that will help you to perform to your potential as a manager, new or otherwise.

Improving Your Self-Esteem

• Think about yourself positively. The only person who can change your view of yourself is you. Learn how to detect and defeat patterns of self-sabotage. Be your own cheerleader!
• Take pride in your accomplishments. When you do something well, celebrate it. Don't wait for someone else to tell you how wonderful you are. Tell yourself!
• Be consistent. It's hard to feel good about yourself when you don't believe in what you're doing. If you find yourself in a difficult situation, do all that you can to make a decision that is consistent with your values.
• Remember that you aren't perfect. Don't be too hard on yourself, or worry about what others think. We all make mistakes, and that's often OK, as long as we learn from them. Focus on the positives and your inner confidence will shine through!
• Look after your physical self. Being active can improve self-esteem. Activities that improve your overall health help you feel more in control, and give you a sense of satisfaction that carries through to other areas of your life.

Three Ways to Build Your Confidence

1. Build confident habits. and break bad ones! Regular exercise and a healthy diet can dramatically improve your physical and mental health. And studies have shown that getting a good night's sleep is linked to increased optimism and self-confidence.  
2. Review past achievements. Your self-confidence will increase when you're able to say, "I can do this, and here's the evidence." A Personal SWOT Analysis, will identify things you're good at, based on your past achievements. You could also list the 10 things that you're most proud of in an "achievement log." Then use them to make positive affirmations about what you can do.
3. Set confidence-boosting goals. The more successful you are, the better you'll feel about yourself. Goal Setting is a great technique for targeting, tracking and recognizing success. It helps you to build competence and a feeling of worthiness.

Top Tips for Underconfident Managers

• Make sure that you understand your main responsibilities and objectives by reviewing, or writing, your job description.
• Try to find a mentor, and commit to learning the key skills you need to work more effectively.
• Set goals for your team, and make sure that you communicate them regularly.
• You can't do everything on your own. Identify tasks that you can delegate to team members.

Looking back, when I stood in that elevator, my biggest barrier was myself. As soon as I got out of my own way, I had a chance. Make sure you give yourself one, too.

Relevant Resources

To learn more about boosting your self-esteem, -efficacy and -confidence, check out our supporting resources:

The Highs and Lows of Self-Esteem
Impostor Syndrome
The Power of Self-Confidence
How Self-Confident Are You?
Confidence Hacks

The post Self-Confidence: You Are What You Think You Are appeared first on Mind Tools.

The accident was a disruption that led to a major life transition. Bruce Feiler, best-selling author of "Life Is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age," says that, on average, everyone goes through a life transition every 12 to 18 months.

Common life transitions include:

• being laid off or fired.
• having a serious accident.
• experiencing a health crisis. 
• working for a company that is being acquired. 
• getting a new job. 
• being promoted. 
• changing careers.
• moving to a different city. 
• getting married. 
• having a baby.
• going through a relationship breakup or divorce. 
• returning to school.
• losing a loved one.
• retiring.

Any of those sound familiar?

Experiencing a “Lifequake”

We get through most life transitions relatively quickly, but one in ten become what Feiler calls a "lifequake." He defines a lifequake as a massive change with stressful aftershocks that can last several years if we don't learn to master them.

After interviewing hundreds of people about their life transitions, Feiler found that, on average, we go through three to five lifequakes in our lifetime.

These life-changing events frequently involve a difficult loss, such as losing a source of income, access to childcare, or a loved one, to name a few. And in the aftermath of the pandemic, the entire world is going through a collective lifequake.

3 Ways to Master Life Transitions

Learning to deal with these disruptive life events is more critical than ever. If you are going through a life transition, here are three ways to help you navigate it.

1. Accepting that the "Linear Life" Is Over

Feiler's findings show that the idea of a neat, linear life path no longer holds true. A linear life is based on misguided expectations.

For example, we expect our careers will progress from a junior job to a mid-level job to a senior-level position to retirement. Some other misconceptions include believing that we will have one relationship, one home, and one source of happiness throughout our lives, from adolescence to old age.

Instead, we lead non-linear lives, which means we go through many life transitions, full of twists and turns and ups and downs. Transitions may seem like abnormal interruptions, but they are a regular and predictable part of life.  

Anticipating change helps us accept the end of predictability and prepares us to deal with whatever changes life brings. Being mentally prepared for change eliminates the element of surprise and allows us to move with greater ease from resistance to acceptance.

How Can You Prepare Yourself for a Non-Linear Life?

Let's take a current example. 

One of the latest work trends has been dubbed "career cushioning" (also known as "recession proofing"). The term describes the act of employees exploring other job options while still in their current role.

Whether or not you're concerned about a layoff, it pays to prepare for this potential disruption to your career. Some actions you could take now include: 

• refreshing your résumé. 
• updating your skills.
• nurturing your network.

2. Becoming Adept at Navigating the Three Phases of Life Transitions 

A big takeaway from Feiler's research is that all significant life transitions have a distinct structure. And it isn't always obvious to someone just entering a transition. 

According to Feiler, major life transitions have three phases:

1. The Long Goodbye: the period it takes to fully accept the change and say goodbye to the old you.  
2. The Messy Middle: the period when you start to evaluate new options. That’s when you replace old habits that no longer serve you with new ones that help you to move forward. 
3. The New Beginning: the period when you embark on a new path in your life. 

Being stuck in "the long goodbye" or "the messy middle" phases prevents us from moving on to the next chapter in our lives.

How Do You Leave the Past Behind?

Here's a quick example. A coaching client of mine – I'll call him Fred – was laid off from his job as a marketing manager. By the time Fred came to see me, he had already spent six months stuck in the long goodbye phase. He wasted a lot of time mourning his old life and what he had lost.

I asked him to note his weekly actions that are still connected to his old job. The list turned out to be an eye-opener for him. 

His activities included:  

• checking the social media accounts of the company that laid him off. 
• scouring the LinkedIn accounts of his ex-peers to see who else was laid off. 
• emailing his ex-direct reports under several pretexts. 
• regularly checking the company website to see if there were new hires on the marketing team.  
• asking several ex-colleagues to go to lunch with him and using the event as an opportunity to vent.

We agreed that he had to stop doing anything related to his former employment, no matter how small. All activities connected with his old job set him back emotionally, reinforced his resentment, and distracted him from moving on. He finally cut the corporate umbilical cord and moved on to the next phase of his life transition.

3. Managing Your Emotions 

Feiler writes that fear, sadness and shame are the top three emotions we most likely feel during a transition.  

I have found over the years that shame is a strong emotion that few people want to discuss. Consequently, the feeling of shame can intensify, linger and prolong recovery from a difficult life transition. 

Consider the example of my coaching client, Melissa (not her real name.) Melissa found it difficult to cope with being fired from her job. After several coaching sessions, she admitted to feelings of shame. "I am ashamed," she said to me, barely holding back tears. "People will think that I didn't do a good job."  

I worked with her to uncover evidence that warranted her feelings of shame. Here are some of the questions we went through: 

• Are your feelings of shame justifiable?
• What scripts are you carrying in your head?
• What hard evidence do you have to validate the thought that "people will think I didn't do a good job?"
• What is the evidence against this thought?

In the end, there was no evidence to justify her feelings of shame because her concerns were objectively baseless. Given her high level of competence, she concluded that anyone who worked closely with her would know the caliber of her work.

This exploration was a turning point in helping her to process her feelings of shame and to move on.  

How Can You Overcome Feelings of Shame? 

To get over feelings of shame, it pays to consider these pointers:  

• Pay attention to the harm that feelings of shame may cause you. Research shows that low self-esteem and depression can arise from shame. For Melissa, staying stuck in a loop of unproductive thoughts about her dismissal exacerbated the situation and made her unhappy and lethargic. For example, she often canceled her exercise class and watched TV instead.
• Catch yourself when thoughts of shame start to creep in. Ask yourself: am I allowing my emotions to hijack my logical brain?
• Reframe your thoughts around the situation, so that they are either realistic or at least neutral. 
• Share your feelings with trusted others. Melissa found an accountability partner – a trusted friend – with whom she spoke once weekly. Together, they sought ways to quiet her ruminations and focus instead on the future. 

Taking Control of Life Transitions

Ultimately, we can manage our inevitable life transitions and not let them negatively influence us in the long term. We can interpret whatever we lost as devastating and allow anger, sadness, fear, and resentment to consume us. Or we can use the loss as an opportunity to gain insight and wisdom, to keep moving on, and to write the next chapter in our life.

That's what I did after my accident.

About the Author:

Bruna is an educator, author and speaker specializing in emotional intelligence, leadership, communication, and presentation-skills training.

The post How to Master Life Transitions  appeared first on Mind Tools.

The question took me by surprise. I'd never really discussed my salary before, and certainly not at work, surrounded by all my colleagues. But to be honest, I find it difficult to talk about money – period. So much so that I was once turned down for a sales position for "not talking about money enough" in the interview.

But the group was eagerly awaiting my answer. So I gave a vague, "Oh just a bit more than I was on before," and quickly changed the subject.

Are You Ready to Discuss Your Salary?

Money can be a touchy subject for anyone to discuss, let alone around colleagues. But why are we so scared to talk about it? We decided to poll our social media followers and ask, "Do you feel comfortable to talk about your salary with your co-workers?"

The answer was a resounding "No," with 76 percent of respondents on LinkedIn and Twitter saying that they don't feel comfortable discussing their wage.

These results weren't exactly surprising. Even though discussing your pay with co-workers is often protected (by the National Labor Relations Act in the U.S., for example, and the Equality Act in the U.K.), it's often considered a taboo subject to discuss around the watercooler.

Keeping Quiet

In fact, one of our followers didn't even see the need for discussion. Educator and Researcher Anna Coutsomitelli MEd said she saw no reason "... why you should talk about your salary with anyone at all!" Solutions Consulting Director David Lush agreed, adding: "Why would anyone ever do this? It's just a recipe for causing friction in the business."

Manager Justina Ikpe was also in favor of keeping your salary under wraps. "It has more setbacks than benefits especially if the colleagues commenced work on the same day and at the same level." She added that it "... could motivate a right-thinking team member to be results-oriented in order to earn more. Conversely, it can lead to unproductive/low-quality output as a result of resentment, unnecessary envy/jealousy which in turn can hamper the growth of the company."

But Founder, Coach and Community Creator Erikka Baker disagreed. "I would argue the same about not having transparency. Assumptions or lack of insight can also cause friction," Erikka said.

Mind the Pay Gap

Discussing salary is certainly a complicated and layered subject. For example, if you found out that another person in the same role was earning more than you, you might feel upset or undervalued. You're doing the same job, so why shouldn't you get the same wage? It just doesn't seem fair, right?

However, there may be several reasons why their salary is higher than yours. For example, they might have spent longer at the company, have more training, or even have had a cost-of-living adjustment based on their location.

On the other hand, not knowing or assuming the reasons for these differences can also create an uncomfortable working environment, and could land organizations in hot water, especially if employees suspect discriminatory factors are at play.

Leadership Coach and Learning Facilitator Holly Wright argued that being transparent with pay "... helps with overcoming pay inequality and can reduce the gender pay gap."

In order to create a fair and harmonious working environment, organizations need to make sure that any inconsistencies in pay are based on non-discriminatory reasons.

How to Overcome Salary Secrecy

The Director and Co-Founder of Elev-8 Performance, Rob Clarke, believes that transparency and culture is key. Rob said: "In our business we know exactly what each other earns. We built it that way."

Marketing Manager Alisa Hamzic suggested that this isn't a problem everywhere, just in certain countries: "This is a cultural thing. In Scandinavia it is totally transparent and normal to talk about [salary]."

So, could there be a time when more of us are open to sharing our salaries? Maybe. So, if you decide to open up about your wage, just consider the situation you're in, and approach the subject with sensitivity.

Talking About Pay and Promotion – Our Brand-New Podcast!

We've just launched The Mind Tools Expert Voices Podcast, and the first episode explores conversations about pay.

In "Can I Ask for More Pay?" hosts Rachel Salaman and Jonathan Hancock delve into the Mind Tools interview archive to get expert advice on when to hold pay conversations, and how to handle them – whether you're the team member or the manager.

Hear from world-leading researchers, writers and thought leaders, including Emma Seppala, Corey Kupfer and Dorie Clark. And find out how you can share your own experiences and ideas in future episodes.

Make sure you know how to get fairly rewarded for the work you do – and feel more confident to talk about pay, whatever your role.

Our podcast is available free from all main providers, or direct from the Mind Tools Expert Voices Podcast page.

Do you feel comfortable talking about your salary? Let us know in the comments, below.

The post Talking About Your Salary – Your Top Tips! appeared first on Mind Tools.

Winter depression can arise from seasonal changes in sunlight exposure and temperature. Combine this with the ongoing cost of living crisis, and it's never been more important for managers to recognize and combat stress within their teams.

Managing the Winter Blues

Low mood or depression can affect anyone, so it's vital that managers take support themselves, as well as supporting their team members. With the added pressures of protecting their team's wellbeing, managers can often overlook their own mental health and even harbor feelings of guilt when taking time off to look after themselves.

To mark International Stress Awareness Week, we're taking a closer look at how winter can affect team wellbeing, and what managers can do to manage workplace stress in the colder months.

SAD in the Workplace

SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), sometimes called "the winter blues" or "winter depression," affects sufferers in a particular seasonal pattern. Usually, though not always, the symptoms will be most severe from September to April and will drop off during the spring and summer.

Though it's not unusual to occasionally feel down or unmotivated as the weather takes a turn for the worse, SAD is a serious mental condition with symptoms that can be adjacent to clinical depression.

Some of the common signs of SAD that you should be aware of include:

• Frequent, sometimes poorly-explained absences in the winter.
• Difficulty concentrating in meetings or on projects.
• A general lack of energy in work and conversations.
• Sudden changes in diet (for example, comfort eating).
• A palpably bad mood that seems to have come on with the winter.

Other Factors That Lead to Stress in the Winter

While seasonal affective disorder can be a major cause of stress in and of itself, it's important that managers stay conscious of other, more pervasive sources of stress that can manifest in the workplace.

This International Stress Awareness Week, one of the most talked-about sources of stress has been the ongoing cost of living crisis. And with temperatures dropping as energy prices continue to soar, it's no wonder so many people are on edge.

In fact, surveys from June of this year reported by The Guardian showed that "77 percent of people over the age of 16 [in the UK] reported feeling 'very or somewhat worried about the rising cost of living'." Further reports showed that "67 percent of Americans express great concern about the cost of living increasing."

Another cause of stress in the winter is the run-up to the holidays. The pressure of organizing family celebrations, travel arrangements, and the sheer financial strain of having to afford it all, can prove too much for many people.

For those already prone to suffering from seasonal affective disorder, these added sources of stress can make the season even more difficult. Managers should be mindful of these issues in order to give their team members the support they need throughout the winter.

Beating SAD and Winter Blues in Your Team

If you’re worried about how SAD and other winter-related stressors could be affecting your team, here are a few of our favorite tips for supporting your staff through the colder months.

Give Them Opportunities to Soak Up the Sun

Though SAD still isn’t very well understood, many medical experts believe that its causes are rooted in the fact that people don't get as much exposure to sunlight during the winter. 

As the days get shorter, it's important to create time in the day for your staff to step outside and enjoy some much-needed sunshine. For example, block out meeting-free zones in everyone's calendars to ensure that they can step away from their desks and take a break.

If busy schedules make this unfeasible, then your team may benefit from flexible working. With more autonomy over when and where they work, team members will not only be able to make the most of the limited winter daylight, but according to a 2021 study by Gartner, it could also make them more productive at work. 

Educate Yourself and Your Staff

Unfortunately, it's common for mental health issues to fly under the radar. That's why education is one of the best ways to combat wintertime stress.

Don't worry: no one's expecting you to re-train as a psychiatrist. But take the time to learn about stress in the workplace, its causes, and how management can help to mitigate it. This way you can keep on top of problems as they arise, making your workplace a less stressful place for everyone.

Encouraging your staff to do the same can also help them to look for the warning signs in themselves and others, and feel more comfortable talking to you about the problems they're facing.

Improve Employees’ Working Environment

Not everyone is comfortable talking about the winter blues, or even any aspect of their mental wellbeing at work. But that shouldn't stop you from taking active steps to combat seasonal blues.

If your team's working environment is dark, cramped or cluttered, then it could be exacerbating SAD symptoms without you even realizing! Consider how you can make your workspace a more pleasant place to be. Simple steps like rearranging furniture, clearing out built-up clutter, and removing partitions, can go a long way to improving everyone's mood at work.

If you’re sure that SAD is a problem in your team, there are even daylight-simulating SAD lights now sold by many major retailers. We spoke to Charlie Swift, Managing Editor at Mind Tools, about his own experience of winter lethargy: "I find getting up in the dark difficult and the blinding glare of putting on the light distressing (no overstatement). So I use a sunrise lamp that gradually comes on while I'm asleep. It peaks with my alarm and stays on for another 10 mins. Somehow, I'm already adjusted to it by the time I wake up and it's not a brutal jolt. And I feel ready to get up rather than desperate to bury myself back under the duvet."

Just like ergonomic chairs and new monitors, these pieces of equipment can have a real, positive impact on people's mood and productivity through the winter.

Final Thoughts

Stress at work can often go undetected, but with a proactive approach, managers can spot the early signs of winter blues and learn how to tackle stress in their teams. 

During this year’s International Stress Awareness Week, we hope this guide to seasonal stress has helped you as you work to lead a happier, healthier, and more productive team!

About the Author:

Chris is a passionate mental health and wellbeing writer and psychologist, focusing on sharing his experience and improving the lives of others. When Chris isn't researching the latest holistic and wellbeing therapies, he's spending time with his two cats, usually curled up on the sofa reading a book.

The post Beating the Winter Blues: How to Manage Stress and SAD at Work appeared first on Mind Tools.