Uncategorized Archives - Mind Tools https://www.mindtools.com/blog/category/uncategorized/ Essential skills for an excellent career Mon, 27 Nov 2023 16:31:44 +0000 en-GB hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.3 https://www.mindtools.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/cropped-mindtools-favicon-32x32.png Uncategorized Archives - Mind Tools https://www.mindtools.com/blog/category/uncategorized/ 32 32 Find Your Calm and Get Stuff Done – #MTtalk Roundup https://www.mindtools.com/blog/find-your-calm-get-stuff-done-mttalk/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/find-your-calm-get-stuff-done-mttalk/#comments Tue, 02 Aug 2022 01:30:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=32355 Calm people tend not to display worry or anxiety in difficult situations, and they're often reliable decision-makers or confident, strong leaders

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If I were to ask you to name a well-known leader or public figure that embodies the word "calm," who would you choose? I'd choose the Dalai Lama.

Known globally for his compassionate mindset and inspirational speaking, he has devoted his life to promoting peace and encouraging people to live their best lives with inner calm.

"Don't ever mistake my silence for ignorance, my calmness for acceptance or my kindness for weakness. Compassion and tolerance are not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength."

The 14th Dalai Lama, spiritual leader (1935 – )

To be honest, I've not always considered calmness to be a sign of strength. I think that's because most organizations I've worked with haven't truly celebrated calmness as a key strength.

A Calm Leader Is One You Can Trust

In my experience, managers have been rewarded for delivering projects, saving money, and achieving sales. Being a calm leader has not often been rewarded or even called out as something to celebrate.

Similarly, interviewers have rarely looked for calmness in their new recruits. In fact, demonstrating calmness in an interview has occasionally been mistaken for a lack of drive, passion, enthusiasm, or being too laid back. And, as the quote above suggests, I've seen it regarded as a sign of weakness.

Yet calm is both a helpful characteristic and a useful behavior. Calm people tend not to display worry or anxiety in difficult situations, and they're often reliable decision-makers or confident, strong leaders.

What more do you want in a crisis than a calm, unflappable leader who can cut through confusion and clearly communicate their strategy? That's the kind of leader you can trust.

Being Calm Is a Superpower!

So, having given calmness further thought, I'm now on a mission to put calmness on the map – the behavioral competency map, that is. In the context of today's complex and changeable workplace, it's arguably one of the most powerful traits we can develop. Perhaps it's even a superpower?

Should you need a little more convincing that calmness is worth celebrating, consider the following benefits. By staying calm you can:

  • Be more compassionate to yourself and others.
  • Have greater self-belief in your capacity to cope when things go wrong.
  • Free your mind to notice the positives in life and celebrate successes.
  • Stop or avoid overthinking.
  • Accept that people are not perfect, and mistakes will happen.
  • Avoid "all or nothing" thinking, which leads to catastrophizing and stress.
  • Avoid procrastination and deal with any problems that present themselves with a rational mindset.
  • See things with a clear head and keep problems in proportion.
  • Not get caught in the "busyness trap" and take more time to just "be."
  • Cope better with stress as you won’t worry about problems before they happen.
  • Feel a greater sense of inner confidence and feel more relaxed in general.
  • Yes, calm is definitely a superpower in my book. Find your calm and get stuff done.

    Find Your Calm and Get Stuff Done

    In our #MTtalk Twitter chat on Friday, we discussed the benefits and possible drawbacks of staying calm – personally, and in the workplace. Here are the questions we asked, and a selection of the most thought-provoking responses from our participants.

    Q1. What does calmness feel, look or sound like?

    @K_arenT Being at ease, self-aware, happy. Feels fuzzy and warm, sounds like a natural, slow blowing wind or sea breeze, sun shining shades of yellow.

    @ZalaB_MT I think calmness feels/looks/sounds different for each and every person. For me, it's a feeling of peace and serenity, deep calmness, my thoughts are not racing and I feel light and energized, as I do after every sporting activity or a good hike.

    Q2. When you are calm, not agitated, who does it benefit, and how?

    @junkkDNA Me and people surrounding me. It's all about energy that vibrates through one and affects others, whether it's positive or negative. Calmness within definitely influences others.

    @J_Stephens_CPA Calmness benefits you (health & mental), those around you – you help them focus, and those impacted by what you are focusing on.

    Q3. When might it not be helpful for you to be calm? Why?

    @CaptRajeshwar When your car gets bogged down at the main junction at peak time. Those horns will ensure you are out of your calmness!

    @Yolande_MT If, for their own safety, I need to get someone out of a "freeze"-reaction and it requires me to shout at them or give them a slap on the back, I'll absolutely do it. We're tempted to think that you should not remain calm in life-threatening situations or crises. However, calm doesn't equate to being slow or not taking action.

    Q4. How do you react to a person who is not calm?

    @tommyphad Observe and study. Be a good listener.

    @rowjayyy If it's in a work environment, I try my best to be understanding and calm towards them in the hope they reciprocate. In other environments, I do the same. But if it's completely unnecessary, I walk away.

    Q5. What can you do to create calm in yourself?

    @PG_pmp Just hold your thoughts not to be reactive in tough situations. To maintain calm, think twice, thrice, even 10 times before one acts.

    @greatergoodgeek I have recently been learning about "breath work" and how certain breathing techniques can "tell our brain" that we can be calm in this moment (i.e. that we are safe in this moment and not being chased by a tiger!).

    Q6. What can you do to create calm in others?

    @J_Stephens_CPA When my wife gets upset about something, I remind her of what she has accomplished in the past 4 months and that I am here to help her now.

    @llake Be present in your response. Telling someone to be calm is a natural response, but usually, it makes the other more irritated, even angry. Listen more than talk. Control the temperature of your voice & emotions.

    Q7. What happens in the workplace when there isn't enough calm?

    @SoniaH_MT When there isn't enough calm in the workplace careless mistakes can happen more frequently. It can be challenging to focus and it can hamper a team member's creative process.

    @llake Poor decision-making. Irritability. Chaos. Poor morale. Lower vibrations begetting lower vibrations leads to overall destruction & depression. Also, it affects overall well-being & physical health. Our cells remember.

    Q8. Can it be too calm in the workplace? Explain.

    @MikeB_MT Maybe. But wouldn't it be great if we could meet deadlines and demands by laser-focusing our calm around a goal, rather than bouncing in and out of calm? It's not an all or nothing. Perhaps we can adapt calm to meet stressful and demanding situations.

    @ThiamMeka2Gogue When you remain calm, there is more of a chance that you also stay positive, which affects your relationships with those you work with for the better. Remaining calm at work is an attribute you can practice in your workplace to support a more cohesive space you're happy to be a part of every day.

    Q9. What does it feel like to be led by a calm leader?

    @Midgie_MT Much nicer than someone who isn't calm! A calm leader gives clear directions with clear expectations, is able to navigate challenges or deal with difficulties, and reassures everyone that they are all in it together and that it will all work out.

    @DrSupriya_MT Our workplaces are still not ready to appreciate calm leaders; they might be labeled as lacking drive or having no fire in the belly, or being not aggressive enough to demand performance.

    @llake In my early days of not also being calm, I found it dubious & distrustful. Now I appreciate the shared energy as long as it is accompanied by appropriate action.

    Q10. How can leaders facilitate calm for everyone?

    @_GT_Coaching [Leaders can] practice calmness themselves and encourage others to do so, but ultimately it's down to others how they choose to be.

    @Dwyka_Consult Be proactive rather than reactive. Role-model a good life balance. Remove as much friction from processes as possible. Focus on trust.

    To read all the tweets, have a look at the Wakelet collection of this chat, here.

    Coming Up Next Time

    Remaining calm when faced with a difficult situation might be seen as a type of generosity to yourself and others.

    Next time on #MTtalk, we're going to discuss generosity: what it is and what it isn't. In our Twitter poll this week we'd like to know when you feel like a generous person.

    Mind Tools Resources Related to Calmness

    If you've enjoyed this roundup and would like to explore the topic further, here are some of the resources we shared during the chat. (Note: some resources are only available in full to Mind Tools Club or Corporate members.

    How Can Stoicism Help You at Work?

    8 Ways to Improve Self-Regulation

    Patience

    Thinking on Your Feet

    Dealing With Angry People

    How to Keep Calm in a Crisis

    How to Be More Organized

    Meditation for Stress Management

    Managing Stress

    Managing Presentation Nerves

    Physical Relaxation Techniques

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    Managing Presentation Nerves – Your Top Tips! https://www.mindtools.com/blog/tips-presentation-nerves/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/tips-presentation-nerves/#comments Mon, 25 Jul 2022 08:00:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=12000 Check out our brand new video with Mind Tools' Content Editor/Writer, Jonathan Hancock, who shares his handy hints for putting on a great presentation – in spite of any nerves

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    "That was an amazing presentation," I thought, shaking my head in disbelief.

    My friend Amy had just finished her talk for her final year thesis, which was supposed to count toward our final grade. The audience was transfixed, focused on her every word. Her visuals were stunning, she spoke confidently, and she didn't even need her notes. To cap it all, she handled the Q&A session with calm assurance.

    My awe quickly disintegrated into anxiety as I heard those dreaded words, "Who's up next? Ah, Lucy. It's you."

    I should have felt confident. It was my moment in the sun, right? I'd done my research, put in the prep work, and I'd spent the whole of the previous evening rehearsing in front of a group of friends.

    But I didn't feel confident. Instead, I felt my cheeks turn red and I bumped into a table on my way up. All I could think about was the audience's eyes burning into me. The notes I'd so carefully prepared now seemed a bit basic, and nowhere near as intelligent as I thought they had the day before.

    I did a quick calculation of my distance from the door. Perhaps I could just make a run for it? Maybe I could feign sickness?

    "No, no," I told myself, "Stop being silly and get on with it!"

    So, I took a deep breath and pulled myself together and, well, I got on with it!

    In the end, it wasn't as bad as I'd expected. I was proud that I had resisted the urge to flee. But I still breathed a huge sigh of relief when it was all over.

    The truth is, even the thought of public speaking fills me with fear. It has done since well before my postgraduate presentation, and that fear still lingers today.

    At least I can console myself with the knowledge that I'm not the only one to get presentation nerves. As Jerry Seinfeld once joked (in all seriousness), "Surveys show that the number one fear of Americans is public speaking. Number two is death. That means that at a funeral, the average American would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy."

    Check out our brand new video with Mind Tools' Content Editor/Writer, Jonathan Hancock, who shares his handy hints for putting on a great presentation – in spite of any nerves:

    We were interested in finding out how you manage presentation nerves, and we put the shoutout on our social media channels: "How do you deal with presentation nerves?"

    Do Your Presentation Prep Work

    Preparation featured in a lot of the responses that we got. As Facebook friend Greg Schmierer succinctly suggests, "Practice, practice, practice."

    But what should your practice and prep work entail? Facebook follower Chetan Agarwal recommends that it go beyond just slide design, saying, "A lot of people confuse preparation with creating slides, but it is more about your script, intonations, anticipating probable questions and drafting your answers, your important notes, flash cards, if necessary, etc. Slides or deck is just the first primary preparation."

    Instagram follower dmbarch offers similar advice. He says, "I try to prepare the best I can. i.e: write down the things I am planning to say. That way, when nerves hit, I know where to go and retake control."

    Another of our Facebook friends, Deepa Hemant Krishnan, also highlights the important of seeking feedback during preparation time. She advises, "Do a mock presentation to somebody who can be a good representation of the expected audience and seek feedback."

    Just Breathe!

    One tip that came up time and time again, was using stress management and deep breathing to keep presentation nerves at bay.

    LinkedIn follower Renee Chamberlin suggests, "Take three long, slow, deep breaths and at the same time, wiggle your toes. This helps calm you and brings you back from your anxious mind into your body." Greg Schmierer follows a similar routine. He says, "Just before the presentation, I close my eyes, take three deep breaths, and visualize [the] success of my presentation."

    Engage Your Audience

    Hooking in the audience with a joke, anecdote or story early on can also help you to lighten the mood, and is a great way of getting your audience engaged.

    As Twitter follower Pauline Grant recommends, "Find an appropriate hook to connect with and engage your audience from the outset." Fellow Tweeter Jo Gallagher adds, "Breathe and be yourself! It's a conversation relaying information and an opportunity to engage the crowd [and], in doing so, learn something new."

    Thank you to everyone who responded to our question, we appreciate the time and effort that you took to join in our discussion.

    If you have any further tips or tricks on dealing with presentation nerves, please share them in the box, below!

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    Living to 100 – Career Choices and Challenges in the "New Long Life" https://www.mindtools.com/blog/ready-to-reach-100-choices-and-challenges-in-the-new-long-life/ Thu, 14 Jul 2022 11:00:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=32138 Longer lifespans and improved technology: both of these bring choices that my grandfathers never had – along with some significant new challenges

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    At first glance, Herbert and Frank had very different careers. One gained a good education and then devoted his life to the Church. The other left school at 14 and spent the next 45 years as a jack-of-all-trades: ambulance driver, dairyman, mechanic, factory worker, and more.

    I got to know both men shortly after they'd retired, and I discovered that they were very different in character, too. Herbert was kind but formal and detached. Frank was down-to-earth, unassuming, and excellent fun.

    But when I learned a little more about them, I realized that, for all their differences, these two men had one big thing in common. Throughout their lives, both had an almost complete lack of choice.

    Herbert and Frank

    The No-Choice Career

    Herbert and Frank were born at a time when educational options were closely linked to family finances, and most working lives followed the same predictable pattern.

    Whether you were marked out for one of the "professions" (like Herbert) or channeled into manual roles (like Frank), you could expect to spend 30 or 40 years at work. And then enjoy a short retirement – if you were lucky. In England in the early 20th century, the average life expectancy was just 51.

    Herbert and Frank both started out by giving much of what they earned to their parents. Later, as married men, they both had to become breadwinners. Their wives looked after the childcare, along with all the household chores. They too had little choice in the matter.

    Herbert and Frank both worked into their 60s, after which their brief retirements were paid for by simple pensions and state aid. They both outlived average life expectancy then, but died young by today's standards – not long after I'd met them. They were my grandfathers.

    When Long Life Meets High Tech

    I thought a lot about Herbert and Frank when I read "The 100-Year Life" and "The New Long Life," both by Andrew J. Scott and Lynda Gratton. The world described in these books is starkly different from the one my grandfathers inhabited, with a wealth of new choices on offer.

    Now that further education is widely available, career options are much less connected to social standing, and family roles are so much more flexible.

    But two other factors loom even larger in this landscape: dramatically longer lifespans, and vastly improved technology. Both of these bring choices that my grandfathers never had. Along with some significant new challenges.

    Long-Life Possibilities and Pitfalls

    That 51-year life expectancy has now climbed to 80. Children born today are more likely to live to 100 than not. We're staying healthy for longer, too, allowing us to keep working if we want to.

    Plus we get more time to change fields and take sideways or even backward career steps, to secure the roles that suit us best at different times in our lives. Neither of my grandfathers viewed their careers like that!

    However, the flip side is that we have to work for longer – or the country will quickly go broke. We must also find our own ways to fund longer retirements. Herbert and Frank both assumed that savings and state aid would fund theirs, and they were right. But they'd likely have seen things differently if they'd expected to reach 100.

    Technology is also a double-edged sword. It's given many of us new choices about where, when and how we work. Including the chance to do tech-driven "side hustles," like delivery driving or selling online.

    But millions of jobs are now at risk, as automation and AI muscle in. True, many of the jobs that go will be difficult or dangerous ones that no one will miss. But if we reallocate too much to robots, what will we all do with our time? Where will we find meaning and a sense of satisfaction every day?

    Career Choices and Challenges

    My grandfathers certainly had far fewer choices than I do, and their lives were harder. But their world was also less complicated in many ways. As Scott and Gratton make clear, living for longer in a world of far-advancing tech throws up some huge new challenges. For individuals, organizations, and society at large.

    They say that we've been presented with "a profound invitation to social ingenuity." We'll need to choose how to support an aging population, as healthcare keeps more people going for longer – many still with significant medical needs. Education systems must change too, to ensure that the information, skills and attitudes that we learn prepare us for multifaceted careers.

    Our employers will also have to meet the future head-on. People will no longer train for a job, do that job (or very similar ones) then retire. Instead, they'll take career breaks, seek different working arrangements at different times, want to change roles – and even switch between sectors.

    Employers will need to accommodate all of this and find ways to get the best out of people at every life stage. Ideally, this will come from jobs that are re-energizing and learning-oriented, within organizations that allow workers as much choice as possible.

    Career Planning for a Bright Future

    My life crossed over Herbert's and Frank's, but my career has already been dramatically different. I've changed industry not once but twice. I've had phases of working part-time to help with childcare. I'm now embracing hybrid working, and looking forward to plenty of interesting and fulfilling opportunities in the future.

    But as this book makes clear, I'll also have to approach work very differently from the way my grandfathers did. That is if I'm going to keep benefiting from the "new long life," and face up to its challenges.

    I'll need to stay curious about technology, not scared. But not blasé either. I'll need to spot ways that technology can help me to thrive, and avoid distraction and overwhelm. I'll also need to be prepared to pivot when parts of my role are no longer done best by any human, let alone me.

    It will pay me to be a lifelong learner and I'll have to keep mastering new skills. But I'll get what the authors call "compound interest" on my learning during my extended career.

    I'll have to keep redesigning my work-life balance – to suit my changing priorities on both sides. (I wonder what Herbert, Frank and their families would have made of that?!)

    And I'll have to be very clever with money. Long lives are expensive! My grandfathers had few choices about finances. However, I'll have to explore an array of possibilities – and make some very good decisions – if I'm going to seize all the opportunities on offer.

    Play the "Long Game" With Your Career

    None of us knows what our future holds. But all the data in "The 100 Year Life" and "The New Long Life" makes a strong case for taking a "long game" approach. That's something that previous generations simply didn't get to do.

    I was talking to my youngest son the other day about what he "wants to do when he grows up." Many of his peers will live into their 12th decade – and have more healthy and productive years in their careers than any generation before.

    As he described his dream job, I had to resist saying: "… and what about after that, and after that, and after that?" Whether he likes it or not, Herbert and Frank's great-grandson has got lots of big choices ahead.

    Download Our "100-Year Life" and "The New Long Life" Book Insight

    Mind Tools reviews the best new business and self-development books, alongside the tested classics, in our monthly Book Insight for the Mind Tools Club.

    So, if you're a Club member or enterprise licensee, you can download or stream the full "New Long Life" Book Insight in text or audio format.

    How do you feel about the idea of living to 100? Which choices will help you to make the most of the "new long life"? What will the biggest challenges be? Join the discussion by adding your thoughts below!

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    Rethinking Health at Work: My Expert Interview With Sir Cary Cooper https://www.mindtools.com/blog/expert-interview-with-cary-cooper/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/expert-interview-with-cary-cooper/#comments Thu, 24 Mar 2022 12:00:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=30565 Cary Cooper talks to Mind Tools about how a "healthy" workplace might look a little different from the way you imagine it

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    I've worked in some unhealthy work environments in my career – and I'm not talking about the ones where everyone smoked at their desks and there were no windows. These were places where the culture was all wrong, and most people felt discontented and unmotivated.

    In one of my first jobs, the boss was a bully. She favored those who sucked up to her, and she shouted mercilessly at those who didn't. It was hell.

    Later in my career, when I was a reporter for an international newswire, we all had to sit at our desks for 10 hours a day, regardless of whether or not we had work to do. It was demoralizing and surprisingly draining. No one felt happy or well.

    A Healthier Workplace

    So it was interesting to drill down into the reasons – and remedies – for such unhealthy workplaces with Sir Cary Cooper, Professor of Organizational Psychology and Health at Manchester Business School in the U.K.

    He's spent years studying health in the workplace – and how to improve it. And he's recently brought his ideas and experience together in a new book, "The Healthy Workforce: Enhancing Wellbeing and Productivity in the Workers of the Future," co-written with Stephen Bevan of the Institute for Employment Studies.

    In this clip from our Expert Interview podcast, Cary tells me how the current emphasis on health and wellbeing evolved over the last couple of decades.

    More Than Pilates and Beanbags

    As part of the growing recognition that wellbeing is a key component of growth and stability, in recent years a lot of employers have started offering their people perks, like free Pilates lessons and fruit smoothies.

    But according to Cary Cooper, while "it's nice to have sushi at your desk, and massages," it isn't nearly as important as having a carefully designed wellbeing strategy, driven from the top – often by a dedicated director of health and wellbeing.

    Ideally, these people will conduct regular "wellbeing audits," to determine the mental and physical health of the workforce. This research helps them to develop their strategy, including interventions to target the problems that have emerged. The success of the strategy is then measured through further wellbeing audits, and tweaked accordingly.

    Wellbeing Audits

    The first step in the audit is to ask employees how they feel and why, through surveys and psychometric tools. After all, if you don't ask, how can you know?

    "In a sense, it's like going to a GP, or internist in the U.S.," Cooper says. "You don't want that person to be writing out a prescription for you before you've opened your mouth. What you want is that person to take bloods, to take your blood pressure, in other words to do a diagnostic to find out about you. Well, the same thing applies in the whole area of employee health and wellbeing."

    Thinking back to my newswire job, a wellbeing audit like this would have revealed some serious problems, but they may have been easy to fix. For instance, the bureau chief was a talented, driven individual who was always chasing the next story. But the rest of us needed a manager to support us, not a star reporter.

    The Importance of Management

    Managers are pivotal to good workplace health, because they're on the ground, watching and listening for signs that something might be off. But they need great soft skills to be effective. And like my former boss, many simply don't have them.

    "In many developed countries, you find that people get promoted and recruited based on their technical skills, not their people skills," Cooper points out. "It's not their fault, in a way, because they were hired because they're really good accountants or good marketing people. But when it comes to actually managing, you get into a managerial role… you have issues."

    This skills gap is the kind of thing a wellbeing audit can identify. Managers deemed to be lacking can be offered training in the social skills and emotional intelligence (EQ) needed to support people effectively in the changing world of work.

    We're Not All Born Managers

    Cary Cooper reckons that about 30 percent of technically proficient people are also adept at these soft skills. Around 50 percent could become great managers with the right training. But some managers – maybe 20 percent – won't benefit from training at all.

    "That's the reality of life," Cooper says, and senior leaders need to recognize this and move these people out of line management. Only then will organizations build and maintain a healthy work culture, where people love coming to work, feel valued, and are motivated.

    "It's about the hours of work, whether people have manageable workloads, realistic deadlines, have a clear idea of what their job is about, they're not contacted by email at weekends and while they're on holiday," Cooper elaborates.

    "The organization has to look at what it can do to make people feel valued, trusted, that they feel they're cared about, that the organization is committed to their health and wellbeing."

    This starts with hiring and developing managers with people skills, regardless of their technical prowess.

    Listen to My Interview With Cary Cooper

    Discover fascinating insights from some of the world's leading business figures with my series of Mind Tools Expert Interviews.

    If you're not a Mind Tools Club member, you can join here, and access over 2,400 resources, including more than 200 Expert Interviews. For corporate licensing, request a demo from one of our team.

    Download "The Healthy Workforce" With Mind Tools

    Head over to the Mind Tools store, where you can also get a downloadable eBook of Cary Cooper's "The Healthy Workforce: Enhancing Wellbeing and Productivity in the Workers of the Future," co-written with Stephen Bevan.

    Would you consider your workplace "healthy"? What do you think are the most important factors affecting working health? Let us know in the comments section below!

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    The 10 Most Difficult People (and the 5 Best Ways to Deal With Them!) https://www.mindtools.com/blog/the-10-most-difficult-people-and-the-5-best-ways-to-deal-with-them/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/the-10-most-difficult-people-and-the-5-best-ways-to-deal-with-them/#comments Wed, 16 Mar 2022 12:00:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=30502 "It's not that you have to love everybody else in the organization. But you do need to understand a few simple things. What are they trying to get done? What obstacles do they see? What skills do they bring?" – Amy Edmondson

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    Difficult People Everywhere

    "There are many types of annoying people," says teamwork consultant Ilene Marcus in our latest Expert Voices episode. And she's right, isn't she? If we're honest, we all know a large cast of characters who, in their own ways, rub us up completely the wrong way.

    Whether they mean to do it or not, they're the people who aggravate, antagonize, fluster, and frustrate us – to the point that we can still feel our skin prickle with annoyance at the mere thought of them, decades down the line.

    See how many of the following figures you recognize. They all make an appearance in our "Dealing With Difficult People" podcast, and I've met them all at some point during my career. Have you?

    10 Types of Difficult People

    1. The Know-it-All. This is someone who feels sure that they know more than you, everyone else on the team – and likely every other team, for that matter. As author and CEO Dana Borowka says, they have a "low tolerance for correction." They obstruct collaboration, and let others take the blame for mistakes.

    2. The Interrupter. This character doesn't let you get a word in edgeways – either because they're not listening, or listening intently so that they can seize their second to jump in. They stop you contributing fully, and can even halt your train of thought in its tracks.

    3. The Ignorer. For Professor Gretchen Spreitzer, this person's behavior typically involves "… ignoring somebody who's trying to clarify a point that they're making, or ignoring somebody in a hallway conversation." They choose carefully who they communicate with, and they make others feel irrelevant – or invisible.

    4. The Bore. It's not just that the Bore doesn't offer anything interesting. They actively ignore people's signals that they're too busy, not interested, or have heard it all before.

    5. The Prima Donna. Everything's about them: their ideas, their needs, their successes. In the words of Ilene Marcus, they're "… people that perform very well, but get on your last nerve – and take away from you driving the business agenda."

    6. The Work Martyr. This is the person who never stops working (or telling you about it). Nothing you do ever comes close to the amount of time and energy they've put in. They grab every role and responsibility going – and expect you to be grateful.

    7. The Whiner. The Whiner has what Dana Borowka calls "woe-is-me syndrome." "The world is so unfair! And they are just constantly complaining."

    8. The Negativity Spreader. This is someone who's not content with just having negative feelings. They want to pass them on to everyone else. They steer every conversation toward the reasons why something won't work – and why you might as well give up now.

    9. The Rainmaker. As Ilene Marcus says, "culture bends” for a Rainmaker. "They don't always adhere to team norms, but because they're the superstar everyone has to deal with the way they do their work."

    10. The Boundary Crosser. This person invades your space, physically and emotionally. Whether they're reaching over your desk, borrowing your belongings without asking, or telling you more about their personal life than you're comfortable knowing, they breach your boundaries in annoying and unsettling ways.

    Lessons From Expert Voices

    In each Mind Tools Expert Voices podcast, my colleague Rachel Salaman tackles a particular workplace topic with the help of handpicked expert guests. Episode 9 explores the many ways that people can be difficult, and the best ways to respond.

    In this snippet from the latest Expert Voices, our guests explain how to recognize difficult behavior and understand the impact it can have – in order to start dealing with it.

     

    Dealing With Difficult People

    Harvard-trained psychotherapist Katherine Crowley describes difficult people as "emotional traps." She says that their behavior "... stirs you up emotionally and causes turmoil in your day."

    So what can we do about them?

    Here are five strategies offered by Rachel's experts:

    1. Recognize your feelings.

    Several guests explore what's going on in our brains when someone annoys us.

    Best-selling business writer Christine Comaford says it's about how we interpret their behavior. "You see things, you hear things, you smell things, you taste things, you feel things," she says. All of that information "… zooms into your brain stem, into your reptilian brain, then moves very quickly to your mammalian brain where emotions are attached, and then zooms to your prefrontal cortex where we make meaning."

    Her first step to dealing with the subsequent feelings is simply to recognize them. "If we don't know how we're feeling – frustrated, overwhelmed, happy, peaceful, confident – then we can't navigate our emotions."

    2. Tell them what's happening.

    Next, we can open up a conversation. As Gretchen Spreitzer explains, "That doesn't have to be in a public way, but in a side conversation. 'You know, in the meeting we had today, I felt like you weren't hearing the point that I was trying to make, and in fact I felt like there were several times where I was interrupted,' as an example."

    If we don't tell people what they're doing, how can we expect them to change?

    3. Be curious.

    We might also need to change our take on the situation. Christine Comaford recommends being curious: "… about the feelings that start to come up, based on the sensory data that you receive."

    Maybe there are mitigating circumstances for someone's difficult behavior. Perhaps the cause is something that we're doing. And what if the intent we imagine simply isn't there, so there's no need for us to feel so annoyed?

    4. Project positivity.

    "One of the most effective things you can do," says leadership expert Olivia Fox Cabane, "is give them credit for the solution that you're going to be proposing." 

    Author Rick Brinkman calls this "Pygmalion power." He believes that it can reduce your annoyance, and help to promote positive behavior in others. "Let's say somebody is being negative and we say to them, 'I appreciate you pointing out the problem so we can come up with the solutions,' that's projecting positive on them. You’re assuming they’re coming from the positive intention of wanting to improve things."

    5. See the benefits.

    "There's a benefit to a complainer," according to Dana Borowka. "They will identify issues that may be overlooked by people who always have that positive side."

    And if people around you are whining or spreading negativity, perhaps it's a signal to get to know each other better, or to generate better energy within the team. As Gretchen Spreitzer says, "If we're having more fun in the workplace, we might be developing more trust, we might be getting to know the whole person at work in a way that then minimizes 'uncivil' behavior in the future."

    Expect the Best From Problem People

    We can take a great deal of hope from the way our experts deal with difficult people. Rick Brinkman sums up much of that in one sentence: "People will fall all over themselves to fulfill your positive expectations of them."

    "It's not that you have to really get to know or love everybody else in the organization," says Amy Edmondson from Harvard Business School. "But you do need to understand a few simple things. Specifically, what are they trying to get done? What obstacles do they see ahead, and what skills and resources do they bring?"

    We might even enjoy our interactions with them a bit more. Amy offers a quote that I'm going to try to remember the next time I'm with someone who usually gets my goat. It's from Abraham Lincoln, who said: "I don't like that man very much. I must get to know him better."

    Listen to the Latest Episode of Mind Tools Expert Voices

    Mind Tools Club Members and Corporate Licensees can listen to the full Expert Voices podcast now.

    If you're not a Mind Tools member, you can join the Mind Tools Club and gain access to our 2,400+ resources, including a range of audio features. For corporate licensing, ask for a demo with one of our team.

    What are your best strategies for dealing with people who frustrate, annoy and aggravate you at work? Who needs to change: them, you or both? And have you ever turned a tricky relationship around – with positive results for everyone? Please share your thoughts, below.

    The post The 10 Most Difficult People (and the 5 Best Ways to Deal With Them!) appeared first on Mind Tools.

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    Why Indecision Is Worth Thinking About https://www.mindtools.com/blog/why-indecision-is-worth-thinking-about/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/why-indecision-is-worth-thinking-about/#comments Thu, 10 Mar 2022 12:00:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=30484 "Our comforting conviction that the world makes sense rests on a secure foundation: our almost unlimited ability to ignore our ignorance." – Daniel Kahneman

    The post Why Indecision Is Worth Thinking About appeared first on Mind Tools.

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    "You know your most annoying flaw?" says my friend Sam, eyeing me critically over the rim of a coffee cup.

    Uh-oh. I've known Sam for many years. This means two things. One, she'll be right. She has decades of evidence to back up her findings. Two, we know each other so well that she won't feel she needs to be polite. I brace myself.

    "Indecision. You can't decide about anything. Even whether you wanted a pastry with your coffee. Or which kind of coffee you wanted. How have you got this old without being able to make decisions?"

    My Indecision Is Final

    It's a good question. I can make very basic decisions. Enough to keep me alive. I decide not to step into traffic when the light's against me, or mend the toaster while it's switched on.

    But when I'm forced to weigh up more complex decisions, pull up a chair: it'll take a while. And my indecision annoys the heck out of everyone around me.

    So a book about making decisions is right up my street. And Daniel Kahneman's classic "Thinking, Fast and Slow" is certainly the one to read.

    One Thinker, Two Ways of Thinking

    OK, so it's not just about decision making. Its scope is a lot broader than that. But Kahneman's work on the psychology of decisions is what won him the Nobel Prize for Economics in 2002.

    The book is packed with fascinating insights. For a start, we don't think the same way all the time. In fact, we have two distinct systems of thinking.

    System One covers all those near-instantaneous decisions that we don't even seem to think about at all. The decision to obey the red light, for example. System Two is much more complex. It's the kind of rational, non-intuitive thinking that we use for analysis and problem solving. And it takes a surprising amount of effort.

    Priming: The Subtlety of Influence

    The interplay between the two systems lies at the heart of human thought, even consciousness. And it can cause some interesting effects.

    Take "priming" for example. Priming is what happens when we see or hear something that influences our behavior in a certain way. It could be something explicit, like an advert for a product. But it could also be much more subtle.

    And the key thing about priming is that it's a System One phenomenon. It works on us without us thinking about it rationally. Often, we don't even realize that we've been primed.

    Let's say I'd walked into the cafe and seen a large picture of a foaming cappuccino and a cinnamon pastry. I might have found myself ordering that, without even thinking about it, even though I usually take just a black filter coffee.

    There's no great harm in that, of course, except to my bank balance and waistline. But what if priming can be used to influence much more important decisions?

    The Art of the Nudge

    Behavioral science has become a huge area for research in the 20 years since Kahneman won his Nobel Prize. Influencers are keen to put social media to work to "nudge" us beyond our indecision and into making particular decisions.

    These decisions are usually on which product to buy, but they can also be about which version of a news story to believe, or even which way to vote.

    So maybe my indecision isn't such a bad thing, as long as I actually use the time to think through the implications of what I'm doing.

    Simple or Complex? You Decide

    "Thinking, Fast and Slow" is a pretty comprehensive book. Priming is only a small part of what it's about, and much of the other research it covers is equally fascinating. Thankfully, it's written in a highly approachable style, despite the complexity of the subject matter.

    But you come away from it with a strong feeling that the way we make sense of the world around us is much more complex than we can ever be aware of.

    In Kahneman's own words, "Our comforting conviction that the world makes sense rests on a secure foundation: our almost unlimited ability to ignore our ignorance."

    It's something to think about the next time you need to make a serious decision, about anything. But don't worry too much about the cappuccino.

    Download Our "Thinking, Fast and Slow" Book Insight

    Mind Tools reviews the best new business and self-development books, alongside the tested classics, in our monthly Book Insight for the Mind Tools Club.

    So, if you're a Club member or enterprise licensee, you can download or stream the full "Thinking, Fast and Slow" Book Insight in text or audio format.

    Do you make decisions without really thinking about them? How do you make big decisions? Join the discussion by adding your thoughts below!

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    How Authentic Should You Be at Work? https://www.mindtools.com/blog/how-authentic-should-you-be-at-work/ Wed, 16 Feb 2022 12:01:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=30099 There are infinite ways to be authentic. And organizations need to make us all feel safe to be ourselves. But we should also take an honest look at the impact of our authenticity

    The post How Authentic Should You Be at Work? appeared first on Mind Tools.

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    Which of the following two people do you think is most authentic?

    Eva, who always says exactly how she feels – even to the point of using bad language to show the strength of her reactions. She talks openly about her personal life, cries in meetings, dances on tables at office parties, and is as likely to have colleagues hugging her in gratitude as shouting at her in anger. She's passionate and open about every aspect of her job.

    Or Joe, who never lets his emotions loose at work, and gets everything done with the minimum of fuss. He's clear about what he will and will not do for others. He doesn't talk about his private life much, so meetings with him are focused and efficient. He doesn't like parties and usually doesn't go. But during office hours he's a calm, confident and kind member of the team.

    Who's being more authentic at work?

    Assessing Authenticity

    I once worked at a radio station with both Eva and Joe (I've just changed their names). And at the time, I'd have said that Eva was the authentic one, honest about her experiences and emotions, and that Joe was fairly inauthentic, since he kept his "real self" hidden.

    But, having listened to our latest Mind Tools Expert Voices podcast, my views have changed.

    Looking back now, I think that they were both authentic in many ways.

    However, both of them could also have made their authenticity work more in their favor – and in mine.

    Lessons From Expert Voices

    In each Mind Tools Expert Voices episode, my colleague Rachel Salaman tackles a particular workplace topic with the help of some well-qualified guests. Episode 8 explores all aspects of authenticity, including the question of how much authenticity we should aim for.

    In this snippet from the latest Expert Voices, our guests discuss the best ways to "be yourself" at work.

    What Is Authenticity?

    Several of Rachel's guests point out that authenticity will always be hard to pin down, because it's about "being yourself" – and that's different for everyone. We all have unique personalities, including how gregarious we are, how we connect with others, and how much of ourselves we're happy to share. As award-winning CEO Sabrina Horn puts it, "Authenticity is like beauty: it's in the eye of the beholder. You have to decide for yourself what your core values are and who you are and what you stand for."

    So authenticity involves self-knowledge, and the strength to stay true to yourself. Harvard's Amy Edmondson tells Rachel that it also requires the right environment – somewhere to feel "psychologically safe." What we have to ask ourselves, she says, is: "Do I feel OK around here? Is this a place where I can bring myself forward?"

    For us to be open, honest, and fully engaged at work, our organizations need to be authentic, too. As Professor Gareth Jones says, "You want the organization to give you the chance to show your brightness and cleverness and innovation and creativity. Allowing people to show their skill and flourish is exactly what builds a great business."

    The Benefits of Being Yourself

    Whatever authenticity means in practice – for people, and the places where they work – there's broad agreement that it's a good thing. "That's how we're going to get more rigorous decisions," says author Frances Frei. "That's how we're going to be able to do things faster... do things at higher quality."

    According to Annie McKee, who wrote the book "How to Be Happy at Work," being authentic "... helps us withstand the pressures that are inherent in our workplaces today."

    Eva and Joe were both successful people, leading high-profile projects and progressing quickly in their careers.

    And I think that, in different ways, they both gained a lot from staying true to themselves.

    Eva was great at expressing her feelings, and encouraged others to be open and "real." Her candor was attractive and often persuasive to clients. And while she brought plenty of fun to the table, she was also able to have tough conversations when necessary. As Amy Edmondson tells Rachel, authenticity is "... not only saying nice things. It's about being candid. And if we aren't open and willing to take interpersonal risks, our organizations will face much bigger risks."

    Joe's authenticity, on the other land, let him build a different kind of trust. He stuck to his own values of clarity and consistency, which gave an organized, predictable air to office life. You could rely on him: not to make you laugh, or let you in on his world outside of work, but to do his job well – and support you to do yours. He was good at what Professor Gretchen Spreitzer calls "job crafting": forging a role that increasingly matched his personality and purpose.

    Authenticity Gaps

    But Joe struggled to engage with people. He may have known himself well, but he never got to know the rest of us, and we didn't feel comfortable sharing anything personal with him. OK, he didn't like parties, and he held his ground on that. But that meant we could never celebrate as a full team.

    Tim Baker says that authenticity involves "... genuinely engaging people in conversations around how we might make the workplace better, more effective, faster, safer, and all of those sorts of things." Joe always had a plan that he was happy with, but he wasn't interested in getting our insights or ideas.

    Meanwhile, for all her fun and frankness, Eva often put the rest of us on edge. She was unpredictable, and her moods often dominated the day. She may have she showed that it was OK to open up, but she left little room for anyone else to do that too.

    On the podcast, Amy Edmondson explains what can happen when people's authenticity is limited by others. "Not only do they hold back but they don't feel engaged. You know, their heart's not in it. And sometimes they don't feel as good about themselves."

    Skillful Authenticity

    So how do we achieve just the right amount of authenticity at work?

    Author Frances Frei recommends that people like Eva "trim" their authenticity. "If your whole authenticity isn't a problem for your showing up but, wow, we just don't need to see that final 20 percent... I think it's a totally reasonable thing to do, to keep that 20 percent at home. It won't be inauthentic."

    And Professor Gareth Jones tells people like Joe to be a little less self-possessed, and to find more similarities and connections with others. "We are not just saying 'be yourself.' You have to be yourself skillfully. Too much difference and things fall apart."

    Making Authenticity Work

    There are infinite ways to be authentic. And organizations need to make us all feel safe to be ourselves, if we're to do our best, to enjoy our jobs, and in turn to build businesses that people trust. In the words of Sabrina Horn, "'Fake it till you make it' is the worst business advice ever!"

    But we should also take an honest look at the impact of our authenticity. Like Eva, it's possible to be too open; and like Joe, too secure in what works for us alone. We should be prepared to "trim" our instinctive approach at times, and to use authenticity skillfully, to get the balance right.

    That way, we can be ourselves, but help others to be their best selves at work, too.

    Listen to the Latest Episode of Mind Tools Expert Voices

    Mind Tools Club Members and Corporate Licensees can listen to the full Expert Voices podcast now.

    If you're not a Mind Tools member, you can join the Mind Tools Club and gain access to our 2,400+ resources, including a range of audio features. For corporate licensing, ask for a demo with one of our team.

    What's Your Authentic Advice?

    What do you think is the right level of authenticity to aim for? Why is it beneficial to be authentic at work? Are there times when it's particularly powerful to be yourself? And when should you "trim" your authenticity – for the good of others, and yourself? Please share your thoughts, below.

    The post How Authentic Should You Be at Work? appeared first on Mind Tools.

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    Human Nature: Not as Bad as We Think We Are https://www.mindtools.com/blog/human-nature-not-as-bad-as-we-think-we-are/ Thu, 10 Feb 2022 12:00:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=29970 "People collaborated to survive. Groups appointed leaders because they had useful skills, not because they were dominant." - Simon Bell

    The post Human Nature: Not as Bad as We Think We Are appeared first on Mind Tools.

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    I remember the first time I read William Golding's "Lord of the Flies." It was in English class at high school. The story's about a group of British schoolboys who get marooned on a desert island.

    With the veneer of civilization removed, they descend into savagery. The strong dominate the weak. Fear and superstition overcome reason. Violence replaces collaboration.

    I glanced up from the book. My classmates looked aggressive and mean. The headlines were about the breakdown of law and order. I nodded in recognition. Golding was on the money about human nature.

    Civilizing Human Nature

    Later, at college, I read "Leviathan," by Thomas Hobbes. (I was an English major, but Philosophy was cooler.) Hobbes' main idea was that civilized society couldn't hold together without a single, authoritative leader. For Hobbes, that meant a monarch.

    I didn't want to agree with that. It went against my liberal, democratic instincts. But Hobbes showed me the alternative.

    Anarchy, barbarism: call it what you will. It's not pretty. And it's inevitable, if you leave people to do their own thing.

    Misunderstanding Human Nature

    Or is it? Rutger Bregman doesn't think so. And he doesn't think much of Thomas Hobbes, either. In his own book, "Humankind: A Hopeful History," he sets out to correct some misunderstandings about human nature.

    "Humankind" isn't actually a history, though it uses plenty of historical examples. It's a sustained argument for the basic decency and sociability of human beings.

    And the problem isn't that we're not civilized enough. If anything, we're too civilized.

    The Curse of Civilization

    For 95 percent of human history, we were hunter-gatherers. We lived nomadic lives, sharing goods in common.

    People collaborated to survive. Groups appointed leaders because they had useful skills, not because they were dominant.

    Then, just recently – say, 15,000 years ago – we settled down. We planted crops, built towns, and started to think of stuff as "ours." And we began to defend it, banding together under strong leaders. Hey presto: civilization.

    Hiding the Truth

    But this, argues Bregman, ran contrary to true human nature, which is to socialize and share. Unfortunately, we've lost sight of this.

    We're programmed to think the worst by news media, so we subscribe to "veneer theory," in which civilization is a thin skin protecting us from the worst excesses of our nature.

    We also have our fears reinforced by science. Post-war social psychology designed experiments to prove that people were cruel and amoral. So, unsurprisingly, they found exactly that. But only by loading the dice.

    A Kinder Reality?

    We know that "Lord of the Flies" is fiction. But is it also wrong about people? What would have happened in reality? Bregman has some evidence.

    Some Tongan schoolboys was marooned on a desert island in the 1960s. They didn't fight. In fact, they made rules to avoid conflict. Nor did they make weapons. They made tools and grew food. Behaving decently and fairly to each other, they thrived on the island for more than a year.

    This reinforces Bregman's view of humanity. Fundamentally, we want to get along. It's optimistic, for sure. And there's no turning back the clock on civilization, for good or ill. But the book's chock-full of uplifting examples of how we're really not that bad. And that should be good news for all of us.

    Download Our "Humankind" Book Insight

    Mind Tools reviews the best new business and self-development books, alongside the tested classics, in our monthly Book Insight for the Mind Tools Club. So, if you're a Club member or enterprise licensee, you can download or stream the full "Humankind" Book Insight in text or audio format.

    Are you optimistic about the future? What's the true nature of human nature? Join the discussion by adding your thoughts below!

    The post Human Nature: Not as Bad as We Think We Are appeared first on Mind Tools.

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    Ctrl+Alt+Del: Rebooting for 2022 – #MTtalk Roundup https://www.mindtools.com/blog/ctrlaltdel-rebooting-for-2022-mttalk/ Tue, 18 Jan 2022 12:25:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=29672 One evening in mid December, I got a reality check. I was too tired to climb one flight of stairs to my bedroom. I realized I needed a reboot. But where was I supposed to find the energy to completely change my life?

    The post Ctrl+Alt+Del: Rebooting for 2022 – #MTtalk Roundup appeared first on Mind Tools.

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    December 29, 2005

    Dear Diary, My life needs to change and 2006 is going to be my year! I'm rebooting my life and starting over. I will write down my plan tomorrow.

    Mind Tools Coach and #MTtalk host, Yolande Conradie.
    December 30, 2005

    Dear Diary,

    [8:28 p.m.] You know how people always tell you to put your goals on paper? Well, here it is! "How to reset my life." I think that sounds pretty impressive!

    [9:05 p.m.] The big plan hasn't materialized yet, but I know it's coming...

    [9:17 p.m.] Step one is eluding me, but as soon as I have it, the rest will fall into place.

    [22:00 p.m.] Stop mocking me, you stupid blank page!

    [22:06 p.m.] Maybe I have writer's block? Is it even possible to have writer's block regarding my own life and my Big Magical Plan?

    [22:08 p.m.] Going to bed. No Big Magical Plan. I'll do it tomorrow.

    New Day, No Plan

    The next morning, the truth hit me in the face like a cream pie in a slapstick comedy: I didn't have a Big Magical Plan. My big reboot wasn't going to be spectacular. I didn't even know where to begin.

    Looking Back

    I can honestly look back at 2021 and say that the year was good to me. Even though the horrible COVID-19 virus was – and still is – disrupting our lives, it was also a year of opportunity and achievement for me.

    Big strides in my career meant that work was busier than ever, and my new fitness regime was fulfilling but demanding.

    However, as my schedule got more hectic, other goals fell by the wayside. Most notably, an important home renovation project kept being pushed back. By mid November, however, I decided that I couldn't put it off any longer.

    So I kicked into "adrenaline mode" and started the renovation, despite my creeping and consistent fatigue.

    One evening in mid December, I got a reality check. I was too tired to climb one flight of stairs to my bedroom. I literally had to stop on the landing halfway and rest for a few seconds. Me! The same person who runs up to 45 kilometers a week.

    Same Destination, Scenic Route

    I realized I needed a reboot. But if I could barely muster the strength to climb those stairs, where was I supposed to find the energy to completely change my life?

    As we ambled toward the end of 2021, I started seeing and hearing the same message in different places and from different sources.

    A colleague shared some thoughts with me:

    "The mindset that we should suddenly live a completely new (and demanding) lifestyle the minute the clock strikes midnight is not sustainable for our mental health."

    – Seph Fontane Pennock, co-founder of PositivePsychology.com

    He then asked the question, "So, instead of completely reinventing ourselves, how about we just take small and trackable steps toward a liberated mind?"

    A day later, a family member shared the following quote with me:

    "Be happy in the moment – that's enough. Each moment is all we need; not more."

    – Mother Teresa

    And Seth Godin's last blog in 2021 contained this pearl of wisdom: "If you're feeling creative, do the errands tomorrow. The calendar belongs to everyone else. Their schedule isn't your schedule unless it helps you get where you're going."

    A common theme started emerging: it's the small things that count.

    Confirm Reboot

    A few days after Desmond Tutu passed away, I sat down to read some articles about his life and work, and came upon these words:

    "Do your little bit of good where you are; it's those little bits of good that overwhelm the world."

    – Archbishop Desmond Tutu, South African theologian and activist

    "Little bits of good... little bits of good... " It reverberated in my mind. He didn't say, "Do one massive thing."

    The message was confirmed: I had to pay attention to the small things. A reboot doesn't have to be a factory reset, after all. Instead, take small steps toward your goals. They may not seem impactful at first, but little changes can soon make a big impression on your life.

    I am what I attend to in life. I will consider my convenience. I will give small if I'm unable to give large. I will honor my time, my purpose and my soul. I will feed the birds, play with my dog, chat with loved ones, and re-nourish my body and brain. I won't say yes when I want to say no. And I will rebuild my broken trust in a loved one – one minute at a time.

    Bit by bit it will be done.

    If only I had known this on December 30, 2005. But it's never too late to start!

    Rebooting for 2022

    During our latest #MTtalk Twitter chat we discussed what rebooting yourself for 2022 means, and what you need to be aware of in the process. Here are all the questions we asked, and some of the best responses:

    Q1. What is your immediate reaction to the phrase "rebooting for 2022"?

    @SayItForwardNow The phrase "rebooting for 2022" reminds me that I can reimagine this New Year... and I am grateful for all of the new possibilities!

    @MikeB_MT Reminds me of my favorite tech tactic – simply stated, restart or reboot. It's also a thought I carry into meditation – if distracted, simply "begin again." It's good to have this focus at the year's start, even better to practice it throughout.

    Q2. Do you find the January focus on "rebooting" helpful or unhelpful? Why?

    @SoniaH_MT Having regularly scheduled personal "reboots" helps us prolong our lives. If that periodic date (monthly, bimonthly, quarterly, semi-annually) falls in January, so be it.

    @SarahH_MT I always feel an overwhelming pressure at New Year to "be better" – you can't get away from the "New Year, New Me" messages and I actually find these really unhelpful. Why do I have to be a "new me"? Wasn't the old me "good enough"? Rebooting is much better framing.

    Q3. Is rebooting just for big things? Can changing small things make a big-enough difference?

    @WonderPix Small things can become big things if we don't pay attention to them, and sometimes reboot a bit.

    @LDresslerplus Rebooting sounds like a complete reset, a complete new beginning. But small things can definitely make a big difference.

    Q4. What do you think when you see others publicly declaring their reboot goals?

    @ColfaxInsurance It's very exciting! I love when people declare their intentions and goals, and it gets me pumped to work on my own project.

    @Midgie_MT It's a way to be held accountable for your new actions and habits. If we don't tell anyone what we are doing, it can be easier to "let ourselves off the hook" when we do not do them. Yet, publicly declaring our intentions can make us accountable.

    Q5. What would you like the outcome of your own rebooting to be?

    @lg217 The outcome of my own reboot is that I would love to end the year saying that I did something that I have not done before. That is why I am creating my own YouTube channel. Not for money, but to say that I did something unique this year!!!

    @TheTomGReid When I set goals, I establish the metrics for determining success at the outset. If I am not making progress early on, I assess whether I am doing the right things and can adjust earlier rather than later. This way, as well, I know when I have "arrived."

    Q6. How will you know you've succeeded with your reboot?

    @Dwyka_Consult I will look forward to tomorrow instead of dreading tomorrow. That's usually a good indicator to me.

    @SoniaH_MT Each personal reboot has its own SMART goal so that's what I would use to determine when I succeeded.

    Q7. What proportion of your rebooting process is physical, mental, emotional?

    @ZalkaB I see it all as a bundle. There's rarely well-being without all aspects involved. For me 2022 is about continuous work on my whole, balanced everyday – I've got a different rhythm and schedule now that I'm experiencing it in full.

    @GodaraAR A good night's sleep is a good start for a physical reboot.

    Q8. Why is it important to involve your body as well as your mind in this process?

    @Midgie_MT It is important because without the physical side (action), the new thoughts, habits or approaches remain simply a nice idea or thoughts.

    @MikeB_MT Movement matters. Walking, exercise, being in nature. The physical, mental, and emotional feed each other. For me, it's not a siloed process.

    Q9. How do you manage the "baggage" that could hold you back?

    @ColfaxInsurance This is tough sometimes. If you have someone you trust that can help you be an accountability partner or give you insights you might not be able to see, this can sometimes help.

    @SayItForwardNow This is such an important question! Meditation helps me explore the baggage/burdens that I am carrying, and find creative ways to release them.

    Q10. How can you support yourself and others to ensure you reboot as you intend?

    @Yolande_MT I need to ask myself, "How is _____ (behavior/ thoughts) working for me?" If it isn't, ditch it. If it is, strengthen it. I also ask others this question when it's appropriate and necessary.

    @SarahH_MT I'm going to review monthly by asking myself three gentle but effective questions: 1. What has gone well with your reboot in the last month? 2. What would have been even better? 3. What will you do in the next month to continue rebooting?

    To read all the tweets, have a look at the Wakelet collection of this chat here.

    Coming Up

    You don't have to be a superstar to be visible, appreciated and valued. Next time on #MTtalk, we're going to discuss celebrating the ordinary. In our Twitter poll this week, we'd like to know which ordinary act or small step will have the biggest impact on your journey of rebooting in 2022.

    Resources for Celebrating the Ordinary

    [Note that you will need to be a Mind Tools Club or Corporate member to see all of the resources in full.]

    Improving Physical Health and Well-Being at Work

    How to Learn From Your Mistakes

    The Action Priority Matrix

    Locus of Control

    Managing Your Boundaries

    Overcoming Fear of Failure

    Are You a Procrastinator?

    Breaking Bad Habits

    How to Juggle Caregiving Responsibilities and Work

    The post Ctrl+Alt+Del: Rebooting for 2022 – #MTtalk Roundup appeared first on Mind Tools.

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    "Mr Creativity": My Friend Tony Buzan https://www.mindtools.com/blog/mr-creativity-my-friend-tony-buzan/ Wed, 22 Dec 2021 12:01:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=29427 For me, Tony Buzan was the embodiment of creativity. With a twinkling smile, bright eyes, and flamboyant, fast-moving hands, he shone with creative energy

    The post "Mr Creativity": My Friend Tony Buzan appeared first on Mind Tools.

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    Who's the most creative person you know? Someone who revels in generating clever and quirky ideas, with an endlessly inventive outlook and a wide spread of interests. Who surprises you with the connections they make and the solutions they come up with. Someone who just thinks differently.

    When I listened to the latest Expert Voices episode, "How to Be Creative," one person came to my mind again and again. He's a man I got to know well, and whose creativity I witnessed at close quarters many times.

    He's also someone who gained international fame for his creativity: the Mind Maps inventor, best-selling author, poet, showman, and all-round creative dynamo, Tony Buzan.

    Who Was Tony Buzan?

    I first heard about Tony Buzan when I was at school. In a study-skills lesson, our teacher explained Mind Mapping – the creativity tool that Tony had named and popularized.

    I took to Mind Mapping immediately. It was a very effective way to explore ideas, stimulate understanding and creative thinking, and boost memory. Mind Maps helped me in my studies, particularly when exams came around. I also used them to solve problems and plan activities in my own time.

    I got hold of several other Buzan books, and his tips and techniques played a big part in developing my fascination with thinking and learning.

    So I felt quite star-struck when, a few years later, I got to meet the man himself.

    Tony Buzan and Me

    I'd entered a competition that Tony Buzan had helped to organize, and I spent a whole day watching him charm, amuse, entertain, and impress participants and audience members alike.

    I finished the day as a medalist, and suddenly I was being interviewed alongside Tony himself – and then going to a restaurant with him and some of the other winners.

    He was a fun and fascinating man to be around. And that was just the first of several dinners we had together, because we stayed in touch and talked, worked and even performed together a number of times after that.

    Tony Buzan and Jonathan Hancock
    Tony Buzan and Jonathan Hancock in 1994.

    "Mr Creativity"

    For me, Tony Buzan was the embodiment of creativity. With a twinkling smile, bright eyes, and flamboyant, fast-moving hands, he shone with creative energy. It allowed him to produce a vast amount of ground-breaking work, and also to promote his ideas passionately – and empower creativity in others. Because he was convinced that everyone should and could be more creative.

    That's a big theme in "How to Be Creative." Chris Lewis, founder of one of the largest independent marketing and communications agencies in the world, tells my colleague Rachel Salaman that "… problem solving is something everybody needs to do these days."

    In the words of lawyer-turned-entrepreneur Jonathan Fields, "The truth is, we're all creative, we all create on very intense levels throughout our day."

    And author Linda Rottenberg says that we need to throw off any worries about doing the wrong thing, and just let our creativity loose. "We can do it! We can zig when everyone else zags!"

    Making Creative Connections

    Tony certainly loved to challenge convention. He saw Mind Mapping as a way to revolutionize note taking and list making. But it was also as a way to be more challenging, to uncover new possibilities, to think differently. And for him, the key to creative thinking was connectivity.

    Mind Maps use connections to improve understanding, but also to allow new ideas to emerge. And Tony was just as interested in personal connections, keen to swap ideas with anyone and everyone.

    In the podcast, Thomas Wedell-Wedellsborg talks about connecting with people from different departments, to "spin off new ideas." "Good ideas tend to come when new worlds meet," he says. That would have made Tony smile. I remember being at a dinner with him once, and seeing him in deep discussion with a waiter about methods for keeping food warm. The next moment he was talking about environmental policy with a member of European royalty.

    Creative Inputs

    I'm sure that Tony would also have agreed with author and speaker Josh Linkner, who talks to Rachel about "gobbling up creative inputs" to fire his inventiveness. "I'm absorbing the creativity of others to get my juices flowing," he says.

    Tony seized every opportunity to widen his experiences and enrich his knowledge. Once, we were traveling together and he dropped a pile of newspapers into my lap. He had his own set, and instructed me to read the sports, showbiz and even the gossip articles as eagerly as those about politics, the environment or the arts.

    As Thomas Wedell-Wedellsborg says in the podcast, "The second you start learning something that's different from your own world, that's when you start to get inspired."

    Lessons From Expert Voices

    Mind Tools Expert Voices is the podcast series where we delve into our 200+ Expert Interviews, to explore a particular question or theme.

    In episode six, "Be More Creative," host Rachel Salaman hears some of the secrets of highly creative people from experts including Melanie Katzman, Josh Linkner, April Rinne, and Rowan Gibson.

    In this snippet from the latest Expert Voices episode, our guests reveal how we can all be more creative – and inspire others to unleash their creativity, too.

    Creativity: Unconventional and Unafraid

    For Tony Buzan, it was important to break away from conventional ways of thinking and doing. If the food he fancied wasn't on a restaurant menu, for example, he'd simply invent a dish and explain the ingredients and method to the chef.

    Once when were on a radio show together, the presenter explained the format. Tony said, "OK, but why don't we do it like this instead" – then got the host to agree to a completely different – and much better – approach.

    Not everything he did worked, but he never let anxiety hold back his creativity. This chimes with what futurist April Rinne tells Rachel about not fearing the worst, and not trying to control everything. If we do that, she says, "We're blinding ourselves. We're leaving opportunities on the table – not seeing all of the amazing things that could happen as well."

    Having said that, Tony did need to control some things. He organized his time ruthlessly, and followed several strict routines every day. In the podcast, Jonathan Fields talks about "certainty anchors" – routine actions that free up other parts of your brain for creativity – and Tony was a big believer in these, particularly when he was writing. Several times, when I phoned him, one of his secretaries told me in no uncertain terms that he wasn't to be disturbed. I got to know when he'd be at his familiar desk, with the right stationery, for an agreed length of time – and that he'd only phone back when that particular routine was done.

    Healthy, Happy Creativity

    Jonathan Fields also tells Rachel about the link between good physical health and high-quality creativity. "Mens sana in corpore sano" – "a healthy mind in a healthy body" – was practically Tony's catchphrase. He loved martial arts, worked with Olympic rowers, and was delighted to hear that I'd taken up running.

    As Jonathan Fields says, "There's tremendous research around the impact of movement and meditation on the creative process, on cognitive function, on problem solving, on creativity."

    There are descriptions of creativity throughout Expert Voices that could have been written about Tony Buzan. But perhaps the one that chimes most with me is about fun. Chris Lewis calls it "the tragedy of the modern workplace" that so many people don't enjoy what they're doing, when creativity and happiness are so closely linked. And Tony laughed a lot. He loved wordplay, told hilarious stories, and found a funny side to almost any challenge.

    Once, when our taxi was stuck in a traffic queue, he joked with the driver about a ridiculous shortcut... which sparked an idea... which got us where we needed to be with seconds to spare!

    Creative Inspiration

    The message that comes through this podcast is that we can all be more creative. By having the confidence to think unconventionally, the energy to make connections, the commitment to our intellectual and physical development – and by having fun while we're at it – we can boost our creativity, and benefit from it in everything we do.

    And in my life, no one has proved that more conclusively than the marvelous and much-missed Tony Buzan.

    A creative Christmas card from Tony Buzan
    A creative greeting from Tony Buzan.

    Listen to the Latest Episode of Mind Tools Expert Voices

    Mind Tools Club Members and Corporate Licensees can listen to the full Expert Voices podcast now.

    If you're not a Mind Tools member, you can join the Mind Tools Club and gain access to our 2,400+ resources, including a range of audio features. For corporate licensing, ask for a demo with one of our team.

    Whose Creativity Do You Celebrate?

    Which creative characters have been inspirational in your life? Who best represents creativity to you and what have you learned from them? Please share your examples, experiences and insights, below.

    The post "Mr Creativity": My Friend Tony Buzan appeared first on Mind Tools.

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