After all, if we only do the minimum required of us, we probably won't get very far. So, if you've set your sights on world domination (or perhaps just that promotion you've always wanted), use these 18 tips to make it a reality.

Be the Best People Person

People skills are one of the most sought-after competencies valued by employers. When you work well with others, it improves productivity, creativity and job satisfaction. So, let's kick-start our top tips list by looking at what you can do to become a better people person.

1. Be a Great Communicator

Being able to communicate well – in person and in writing – is an essential skill in most workplaces. But, it's also one that is often forgotten about. In fact, a study from the National Commission on Writing reveals that blue-chip companies spend as much as $3.1 billion on writing training.

The ability to express yourself eloquently can mean the difference between getting noticed and being overlooked. Write a bad email and all anyone will remember is your poor grammar. But write one that is clear, concise and interesting, and you'll likely find that people will respond to your message quickly and positively.

2. Nurture Your Work Relationships

People skills are as important in the workplace as technical ability. These kinds of "interpersonal skills" can help you to collaborate, communicate, manage conflict, motivate, increase productivity, solve problems, and network.

When you have good working relationships you'll likely be more happy and engaged at work, too. In fact, a 2023 study revealed that positive workplace relationships can help you to avoid burnout, exhaustion and even loneliness.

3. Listen!

It can be all too easy to "tune out" sometimes. Whether you're really focused and "in flow," or you're easily distracted by emails and other minor tasks, maybe you just aren't paying enough attention to the person who's talking to you. Whatever the case, you're not alone. It seems that most of us aren't great listeners. Indeed, research suggests that we remember between just 25 percent and 50 percent of what we hear!

But listening is vital if you want to succeed at work. It can help you to take in information, learn from others, build relationships, and take direction. Active listening is one of the ways you can improve your ability to listen. It involves making a conscious effort to hear not only the words someone is saying, but the key messages that they are trying to express.

4. Know How to Work With Your Boss

If you're lucky, you'll have a boss that you respect, like and admire. If you're not so lucky, however, you may have one who, for whatever reason, you just don't "click" with. If this happens, it can have a significant impact on your happiness and your productivity.

Ultimately, the onus is on you to make the relationship work. Your boss will likely have several other people to manage, so their relationship with you may not always be at the top of their list. But it should be at the top of yours! Find out more about their preferred management style. Then, adapt your own working style to suit it. Do they like to receive information in person, or prefer email? How do they tend to handle bad news? Do they like to micromanage people or are they happy to delegate tasks?

Be the Best at Taking Initiative

When you take the initiative, you take control of your career. This might be as simple as learning to organize your workload effectively. Or, it could be more complex – for example, seeking out new opportunities and understanding the purpose behind the work you do. Here are some tips for doing this:

5. Prioritize Your Goals

With so many demands on your time, it's easy to get distracted and lose sight of your main goals. Start each day by prioritizing your To-Do List, and focusing your attention on the top three items. This will help you to manage your time effectively, and to concentrate on the objectives that matter the most. And, if you're really swamped, don't be afraid to ask for help, to delegate tasks, or even to say "no" sometimes.

6. Challenge Yourself

Feeling comfortable and confident in a job likely means that you're doing it well. But, if you're finding it all too easy, you may begin to feel bored and unfulfilled.

Sure, you could carry on and "coast" your way through. But this probably isn't going to get you very far in the long term. Instead, stay challenged by setting yourself some new goals. Learn a new skill, go on a training course, or ask your boss for more responsibility. Not only will you be pegged as a "self starter," you'll also get the chance to broaden your skills, and to engage in new ways of thinking. It may even open up opportunities to work on different projects and with different people.

7. Get out of Your "Comfort Zone"

Stepping outside of your comfort zone is – unsurprisingly – uncomfortable! You might feel exposed, or worry that you'll look stupid. However, if you avoid taking opportunities when they present themselves, you'll never know just how far you can go.

Yes, doing something new can be scary. It might also mean more pressure and more work. But, it can also push you to perform better. It can make you more resilient, give you the flexibility to take risks and cope with unexpected problems, and help you to overcome fear of failure.

8. Remember the Bigger Picture

Do you know why you do the work that you do? What's its purpose? Why is it meaningful to you? And how does it help the business to achieve its goals?

Understanding how the work that you do benefits your organization can improve your performance. It adds purpose to your work, helps you to prioritize your tasks more effectively, and enables you to identify tasks or areas of the business that can be made more efficient.

Be the Best Learner

It's never too late to learn a new skill. In fact, building up your knowledge and skills is often a lifetime pursuit. So, start your learning journey today by following these tips:

9. Build Expertise and Share It!

Having a specialized skill or excelling in a particular task can put you "in demand." Even more so if you have deep knowledge of a subject that is highly sought after – for instance, analytical thinking, creative thinking or resilience.

Being the "go-to" person for a particular task or topic can enhance your reputation and allow you to help others. It can also lead to opportunities to work on high-profile tasks, and may even result in promotion. But remember that building expertise takes dedication and resolve. So, be prepared to put the time in!

10. Know Your Stuff

Rapid advances in technology, along with global political and financial developments, mean that change is fast-paced and unpredictable. And, if you don't make an effort to keep up with these changes, it can result in missed opportunities or getting left behind.

Combat this by making it a priority to stay up-to-date with your industry. Join a trade organization, attend trade shows or conferences, read blogs, and connect with industry leaders and colleagues on social media sites like LinkedIn or Twitter.

11. Set Aside Time for "Deep Work"

We live in an age of distractions. Email, social media, instant messaging, office politics, unnecessary meetings… even the weather! All of these things can cause you to lose focus on the tasks that really matter. In fact, some studies suggest that knowledge workers lose up to three hours a day because of distractions. And this can cost businesses 14 to 15 times more than absenteeism due to health-related issues.

Sure, it might be hard to ignore the 150 WhatsApp messages that you've just received. But, if you really want to produce quality work, you and your phone will need to part ways (temporarily at least). This is where "deep work" can help. It involves pushing distractions to one side, and giving yourself the time and space to really focus on challenging and complicated tasks. This has a number of benefits. For example, it can help you to build expertise and knowledge, and give you a greater sense of fulfillment and achievement.

Be the Best Professional

What qualities make you a true professional? Is it the way you dress? Your charismatic charm? Or, is it your ability to learn from your mistakes? Take a look at our tips on what it takes to be the ultimate professional:

12. Make Mistakes (and Learn From Them)

We've all had that sudden sinking feeling when we realize that we've made a mistake. But it's how you handle these "bloopers" that really matters. Do you, for instance, tend to "run for the hills" and hope that no one notices? Pass the blame onto someone else? Or, do you "fess up" and do your best to remedy the situation?

It can be hard to swallow your pride and take ownership of the mistakes that you make. But, it is only by doing this that you will ultimately learn from them.

13. Ask for Feedback and Use It!

It can be difficult to hear criticism, particularly when it's unexpected. But, if you don't get any feedback at all, you may begin to wonder whether your work is valued or even noticed.

Why not take the initiative? Ask for feedback from managers and colleagues. Not only will you be seen as a proactive member of the team, but the advice and insight that they provide will likely help you to improve your performance, too.

14. Protect Your Professional Reputation

Your reputation is what you're known for. It encompasses your personality, your skills, your values, and your temperament.

It can take time and effort to build up a good reputation, but just moments to destroy it. This means that you need to put the work in if you want to protect and maintain it. Do this by carrying out a personal SWOT analysis to assess your skills, and to create a plan for developing the professional traits and abilities that you want to be known for.

Be the Best Leader

You don't have to be a manager to be a leader. And, in fact, many businesses want people to demonstrate leadership skills, even if they're in a junior role. So, why not tap into your leadership potential today by following the tips, below:

15. Develop Leadership Skills

One of the major "pain points" for businesses is the lack of leadership skills among their employees – even those who are in senior or highly technical roles. Research shows that the best and most successful leaders are those who encourage learning and listen to feedback and ideas. And that this, in turn, can help teams to become more resilient and effective.

So, if you've set your sights on a promotion, why wait? Start preparing today by broadening your skill set to include listening, empathy, problem solving, and negotiation. And acquaint yourself with different leadership styles, such as Transformational Leadership, Action Centered Leadership and Adaptive Leadership.

16. Get Yourself Noticed

Have you ever completed a piece of work that you were really proud of, only for it to go unnoticed?

Feeling as though your work isn't valued or even acknowledged can be deeply demoralizing and frustrating. But, there are ways you can improve your visibility at work. Building a strong network of allies, for instance, can help, as can tracking your accomplishments, taking on additional responsibilities, or finding a mentor or coach whom you respect and who can help you develop your skills and career.

Be the Best You

Wherever your career takes you, and whatever role or organization you find yourself in, the one constant will be you. So, cherish your uniqueness, stand up for your values and beliefs, and always be yourself! The following tips can help you to do just that:

17. Learn How to Cope With Stress

It can be easy to get caught up in negative thoughts sometimes, particularly if you've made a mistake, received some poor feedback, or work in a high-pressure job. But, real problems can occur if you allow these thoughts to take over, such as low self-confidence, poor self-esteem, or even depression and anxiety. All of these things can impact your productivity and performance – setting the whole cycle in motion once again.

Remember that setbacks and stress are a part of everyone's life. You can either crumple under the pressure or find strategies to help you cope. These could include mindfulness, affirmations or cognitive restructuring.

Most of all, know when to stop. It can be hard to switch off, particularly when you're surrounded by "always on" devices, like smartphones or tablets. But learning how to relax – really relax – will help you to recharge, stay calm and avoid burnout.

18. Be Yourself

Pretending to be someone else or being a "yes man" (or woman) can be exhausting, confining and demoralizing. It can also hold you back from reaching your true potential. But, when you stay true to yourself and your values, you'll find that you can express your thoughts and ideas much more clearly and confidently. And you'll have a reputation for integrity that will earn the trust and respect of your peers.

Yes, it may sometimes mean "going against the grain" or taking the harder road. But it also allows you to live a more authentic and, ultimately, more rewarding life.

Related Resources

If you want to delve deeper into some of the topics we've discussed in this blog, check out our list of recommended related resources below (please note, to access some resources in full you'll need to be a Mind Tools member):

How Self-Motivated Are You?
Managing Your Career
The Power of Good Habits
Developing a Career Strategy
Pink's Autonomy, Mastery and Purpose Framework
What You're Really Meant to Do, with Robert Steven Kaplan
Plan Your Career From Here
Working With Purpose
What Are Your Values?
Job Crafting

About the Author:

Senior Editor Lucy Bishop started her working life selling ice cream in a theme park. She now heads up the video learning team at Mind Tools, and gets involved at every stage – from writing and editing scripts, to auditioning actors, to running filming days. Lucy’s a committed member of our neurodiversity panel, where she helps Mind Tools to reflect and support all forms of neurodivergence. She’s also fascinated by new technology and is currently learning about AI – especially its impact on learners. Her favorite advice is, “Before asking someone else to fix something for you, see if you can learn to do it yourself.”  

The post 18 Ways to Be the Best You Can Be appeared first on Mind Tools.

Guess what? This time the power button broke as soon as it hit the floor. It flashed on and off on sleep mode, and I couldn't power it either on or off. Here I was in Copenhagen, Denmark, spending some of the time I'd planned to sightsee… taking my computer in to the shop.

Categorizing Regrets

In his book "The Power of Regret," Daniel H. Pink writes about the upside of one of our less pleasant emotions, regret. Regrets are common and painful, but they can also be surprisingly motivating.

Pink conducted research on regret and determined from his very sizeable surveys that regrets can be categorized depending on their focus, rather than on their content.

For example, one person might regret not going to university while another regrets not proposing to a girlfriend – but both are essentially regretting a lack of boldness.

Many regrets focus on actions not taken, though some focus on deeds done. In each case, we can take inspiration from our regrets to live, in the future, in ways that more fully reflect our desires.

At Least…

In the case of actions taken, Pink says that we can make efforts to undo their damage if possible. My poor laptop is now sitting in a shop in the U.K., waiting for diagnosis and repair. Whether it gets up and running again, or whether I end up needing to buy a new laptop, I'll be cautious about when I use it and where I put it!

We can also make ourselves better with "at least" statements – acknowledging to ourselves that the outcome could have been worse. At least I had my work laptop with me. At least I hadn't broken it on my previous trip, where it was my one and only computer. And at least I had saved most of my important documents to the cloud so was able to access them there.

I'm a little clumsy. I probably always will be. But I can strive to be more mindful in the future to take care of my technology, rather than thoughtlessly hauling it around.

To Regret Is Human

In the 1980s cartoon "The Last Unicorn" (based on Peter S. Beagle's novel), a unicorn is transformed into a human, falls in love, and is eventually returned to her original form. She gains an appreciation of human emotions, including the bittersweet ones.

In the end, she says to the magician responsible for the transformation, "No unicorn was ever born who could regret, but I do. I regret." Then, rather than getting angry at the magician, she thanks him.

Pink writes that regret makes us human. And with its power to impact our future choices, it makes us better.

Listen to Our "Power of Regret" Book Insight

We review the best new business books and the tested classics in our monthly Book Insights, available as text or as 15-minute audio recordings.

So, if you're a Mind Tools Club member or corporate user, listen to the "Power of Regret" Book Insight now!

If you haven't already signed up, join the Mind Tools Club and gain access to our 2,400+ resources, including 390+ Book Insights. For corporate licensing, ask for a demo with one of our team.

About the Author

Melanie has worked as a writer, freelance and in-house editor, university writing instructor, and language teacher. She is the author of a short story collection, "Dream Signs," and a nonfiction book, "The Modern Enneagram." Melanie has written for several publications including Huffington Post, Cicada, and Contrary Magazine. And she is a certified teacher of the Enneagram, a personality typology that illuminates people's core motivations.

The post I Might Regret Writing This Blog  appeared first on Mind Tools.

It'll be fun, they said. In the hours before midnight, uplifting music played and energetic warm-up routines with loud and enthusiastic organizers roused the crowds. Groups of friends met up, drank water, ate high-energy food, packed snacks, and prepared for seven-to-10-hour walks through the streets of London. Despite all this, I can assure you that, for me at least, this experience was not fun.

The good news was that I'd trained. In the months leading up to the event, I'd gradually increased the length of my walks to around 20 miles.

I had comfortable walking shoes that I'd "broken in" so they didn't rub. And I had special socks that hikers use, which are supposed to stop blisters. I was confident that I'd prepared well enough to cope with the physical demands ahead.

But I was to discover that it was the mental demands that were the most challenging of all.

One Step Leads to Another

My diet hadn't been great in the 24 hours before the walk, and I hadn't kept myself hydrated. I'd not rested properly. I'd stayed up late the previous evening, woken up early on the day, and followed a busy schedule before arriving for the walk.

I was also doing the walk alone. Yes, there were thousands of people around me, but I didn't have a walking companion – someone to talk to, to motivate me.

"A bird sitting in a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking because her trust is not in the branch but in her own wings."

― Author Unknown

I had no one to encourage me when I was tired or felt like giving up. No one to be my cheerleader, my coach and keep me motivated. All of these factors set the tone for a very challenging and lonely nine-hour walk, with only my own thoughts to get me through.

By 5 a.m., in cold, deserted London, I was completely exhausted, and my heat blisters were developing blisters of their own! The only thing I had to keep me walking toward my goal, to keep me taking one step after another toward my destination, was being my own coach.

What Does It Mean to Be Your Own Coach?

My Moonwalk experience taught me that, while it can be helpful to have people around you to coach, challenge and cheer you on, the only person who is with you every minute of every day is you.

If you want to consistently be the best version of yourself, even in the face of adversity, and especially when you feel like giving up, be ready to coach yourself.

Good self-coaching leads to self-empowerment, and this can help you make more positive choices and take charge of your life. It can also build your self-confidence because, as you coach yourself, you develop your self-awareness.

You can coach yourself to think about the "big picture." Try asking yourself questions like:

• What am I good at?
• What knowledge, skills or behaviors do I want to improve?
• What matters most to me in work and in life?
• What are my personal and work goals?
• What do I want to achieve personally and professionally?

And you can coach yourself through your day-to-day challenges, by reflecting on:

• How can I best solve this problem?
• What steps do I need to take to achieve this goal?
• How can I use my strengths in this situation?
• What do I need from myself today?
• How can I change my thinking to see things more positively?
• If I want new results, how should I think and behave?

Different Mindsets Create Different Results

Being your own coach means regularly reflecting on actions you take (or don't take), acknowledging what went well, and thinking through what you need to do to be even better in the future.

This could apply to anything from reflecting on your role in the completion of a big project, to how you handled an important conversation with your boss.

I did complete the Moonwalk Marathon, by the way. When I picked up my medal at the finish line at around 9 a.m., it was with a huge sense of achievement – and with the knowledge that mindset is so often the difference between giving up and achieving your goals.

"Whether you think you can, or think you can't – you're right."

– Henry Ford

#MTtalk Roundup: Be Your Own Coach

During Friday's #MTtalk Twitter chat, we discussed how to be your own coach. Here are all the questions we asked, and some of the best responses:

Q1. What does "being your own coach" mean to you?

@BRAVOMedia1 Being my own coach, for me, means providing self-care, spiritual enlightenment, courage, and strength.

@ZalaB_MT It means giving yourself the opportunities to get to know yourself, your strengths and areas of life/work you'd like to improve, change or "upgrade" and actively work on them.

@SaifuRizvi The act of being your own coach begins with positive self-talk! The day you start learning from your mistakes, you will become your own coach!

Q2. What's the difference between being your own coach and positive self-talk?

@Yolande_MT Positive self-talk is about taking care of a minute. Self-coaching is about taking care of a process.

@ThiamMeka2Gogue Positive self-talk is the internal narrative you have about yourself with positive wellbeing impacts. Being your own coach is developing your own ideas and actions in response to the challenges, with the purpose to increase your resilience and reduce your dependency on other people.

Q3. Why/when might you want to be your own coach?

@ColfaxInsurance (Alyx) This is a super helpful skill set in getting to know yourself better and being able to advocate for yourself to yourself and to others.

@Midgie_MT You might be your own coach when you are implementing daily habits or pursuing goals, which you know you can and will achieve.

Q4. How does being your own coach differ from coaching others?

@J_Stephens_CPA Getting past perfectionism with myself is a challenge, despite telling others they don't have to be.

@MarkC_Avgi Many who are their own coach are much tougher on themselves than they might be on others, or we might be easier because we know ourselves. But in assessing how you coach others, you need to learn about the others and get to know what coaching will work for them.

Q5. What skills does it take to be your own coach?

@BRAVOMedia1 Being my own coach takes emotional intelligence, resilience, fortitude, and self-love. No woman/man is an island and we need one another to thrive and grow. This chat is challenging!

@SarahH_MT You need to be open-minded to develop your self-awareness, use self-reflective techniques, be resilient, emotionally intelligent, determined, self-motivated, and have good judgment/decision-making skills.

Q6. What might be some challenges of being your own coach?

@PdJen I think one of the challenges of being your own coach could be knowing the right questions to ask. Of course, figuring things out is all part of the enjoyment of whatever journey you're on!

@ColfaxInsurance (Alyx) It's hard to be your own coach if you have no experience coaching, at least from my experience. I can also see there being an issue with learning to be kind to yourself.

Q7. How can you measure if self-coaching is successful?

@ThiamMeka2Gogue As long as you ask yourself insightful coaching questions that unlock your thinking and support you to identify actions, that will help you make positive life and career progress.

@PdJen I think you have to first understand where you are and why you need to self-coach; set goals and go from there. If several months down the line, you're still doing the same thing, getting the same results etc, then something isn't working.

Q8. When have you coached yourself successfully?

@Yolande_MT I coached myself successfully through a fitness challenge, a seven-day water fast (that, to me, was a major accomplishment) and handling a very difficult adopted Rottweiler. I had to coach me more than I had to train him!

@MarkC_Avgi When coaching myself during difficult situations, it was often a matter of asking myself: "What would ____________ have done in this situation?" That "blank" in the question could have been any number of people in my life, who I valued and respected.

Q9. What have you learned from other coaches that you've applied to yourself?

@SoniaH_MT When it comes to applying what I've learned from other coaches, it's accepting my flaws and triggers, then learning to work through them.

@ZalaB_MT Grateful for my coach/mentor. She taught us coaching is NOT mentoring, therapy or counseling. Coaches don't offer advice or counsel, they guide clients with what they bring to the table. Coaching takes 100 percent of your whole self, so you need to keep your boundaries.

Q10. Can anyone be their own coach? Yes/No? Explain.

@SarahH_MT Anyone CAN be their own coach but that's not to say you have to do it all alone. I do think self-coaching is more natural for some and some find it easier than others. But it IS possible for anyone to be their own coach with the right mindset.

@Midgie_MT Yes, anyone can coach themselves. Yet to do it effectively some basic skills and tools help!

To read all the tweets, have a look at the Wakelet collection of this chat.

Coming Up: The Importance of Lifelong Learning

You'll have a hard time coaching yourself if you don't continue learning about yourself and from others. Next time on #MTtalk, we're going to talk about a topic that excites all of us here at Mind Tools: the importance of lifelong learning (thanks for the topic suggestion, @ZalaB_MT). In our Twitter poll this week, we'd like to know why you continue learning.

"Be Your Own Coach" Resources

To help you prepare for the chat, we've compiled a list of resources for you to browse. (Note that you'll need to be a Mind Tools Club or Corporate member to see all of the resources in full.)

• Managing Yourself
• Empower Yourself Video
• Self-Mastery
• Self-Sabotage
• Developing Personal Accountability
• How Self-Motivated Are You?
• Energizing Yourself
• Motivating Yourself
• Understanding Your Locus of Control
• Dweck's Fixed and Growth Mindsets
• Informal Coaching Video
• Coaching Through Change Video

We've also just released a whole batch of new coaching videos on Mind Tools. Our "Get Coaching – Introducing Brand-New Mind Tools Coaching Videos" blog reveals all!

About the Author

Sarah is an experienced and qualified leadership, culture and conflict coach. An author, skilled trainer, facilitator, manager mentor, and workplace mediator, Sarah has over 30 years' experience to draw on. Following a career as an HR leader and consultant, she now loves coaching leaders and teams to improve their results through developing better workplace relationships and creating savvy conversational cultures. Away from work, Sarah can be found in her garden or perhaps writing her next book.

The post Be Your Own Coach – #MTtalk Roundup appeared first on Mind Tools.

I've always been someone who likes to know where I'm going and how I'm going to get there. People have called me ambitious and driven but I don't really see it like that. I just don't like wasting my efforts on the wrong things.

Pay-offs could be financial (such as a pay rise or winning a contract), intrinsic (the personal satisfaction of a job well done), practical (enjoying greater work-life balance), or external (public recognition or improved reputation).

Recognizing the specific factors that motivate you could provide useful insight into how you can best balance your dreams and reality, to achieve your own life plan.

By aligning your personal goals and priorities with your life plan, you'll be making sure your dreams are backed up with some tangible actions.

After all, there's little point dreaming about becoming a marathon runner if the reality is you don't prioritize your weekly training plan. Dream – to become a super-fit marathon runner. Reality – binge-watching Netflix with a giant tub of popcorn takes priority every time!

Dreams Don't Come True on Their Own

Being absolutely clear about what your life plan is will provide a solid start. It will probably need to evolve over time and may need to flex as you progress through your career and deal with life's various challenges.

And let's remember that we don't always know precisely what our life plan is, anyway. We may instead have an overall dream rather than a specific plan. Or to put it another way, we may have a vision we're aiming toward rather than a well-defined set of goals.

"Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes time. Vision with action can change the world."

― Joel A. Barker

Creating the Life of Your Dreams

Of course, it can be helpful to turn your vision into a set of goals. This will ensure that you base your dreams firmly in reality. And it will give you clarity on the practical steps you can take to create that life of your dreams.

Setting yourself stretching but achievable goals can help you to:

• Be clear about what you need to do – the changes to make and actions to take to ensure that you stay on track.
• Prioritize day-to-day or weekly activities by focusing on the most important things.
• Determine what support you need from others to help you put your plan into action.
• Assess your options and choices to help you make better decisions as time progresses.
• Measure and celebrate your achievements – it's very motivational to see how far you've come.
• Increase your confidence in yourself and build your self-belief – you can do this!

But wait. Highly defined and time-bound goals just don't float everyone's boat. You may well feel that, rather than goals motivating you to achieve your dreams, they take all the fun and spontaneity out of them. Then suddenly there's just a bit too much reality and not quite enough dreaming big going on! I can certainly relate, and I can feel that all-important motivation slipping away!

What's important is to focus on what you want to achieve, and then to figure out how to get emotionally connected to it – in a way that financially, intrinsically, practically, or externally keeps you motivated until that dream life plan becomes your reality.

What's Your Life Plan? Balancing Dreams and Reality

During Friday’s #MTtalk Twitter chat we discussed creating a life and career plan and how to balance dreams and reality. Here are all the questions we asked, and some of the best responses:

Q1. Do you need to plan everything in your life?

@_GT_Coaching This answer may be different for everyone, but I think that there is some benefit in being spontaneous, leading to actions that may or may not be linked to a previously generated purpose.

@MikeB_MT I don't need to plan everything in my life down to the last detail, but I try to have an outline and guideposts to keep me moving forward. I could be more planful. The thing about a plan is that you need to follow through!

Q2. Has planning your life or career ever felt like a waste of time? Why/why not?

@virtudeskcom Never. You need to plan to set your steps in the right direction and for you to achieve what you really want in life.

@J_Stephens_CPA Setting the annual personal goals for work is seen as a drudgery by many. But if you don't make a plan, you don't know when you have succeeded.

Q3. Complete the sentence: If you don't have a life plan ___________.

@llake A life plan isn't compulsory. In fact, I consider it unnecessary but if you have one be advised that plans change.

@Dwyka_Consult If you don't have a life plan, how on earth do you know what to do, where to focus, what you should concentrate on?

Q4. How can planning your future help you to achieve your goals?

@leehengyuen Goal = strategic, action plan = tactical, task = operational

@J_Stephens_CPA Planning allows you to choose wisely when faced with decisions.

Q5. What should you consider before making a "New Year's resolution"/setting a goal?

@SarahH_MT Research suggests New Year's Resolutions generally fail within one month! Working with a buddy, coach or accountability partner can help. Also goals are not motivational for all of us – it's key to find what motivates you and plan around that.

@Midgie_MT Consider your "why," your reason that you want to achieve this goal and the difference it will make to your life. This helps with the motivation to take the necessary actions.

Q6. Why have you gone off track from your plan in the past?

@Yolande_MT Lack of accountability and not being honest with myself have played a role. Allowing a short-term "want" to override a long-term goal.

@_GT_Coaching I have personally gone off track at times due to a lack of awareness in the moment and because my distractions have been stronger than my intentions.

Q7. How will you help yourself get back on track when life throws you a curve ball?

@harrisonia To get back on track when life throws me a curve ball, I will: acknowledge what happened; pause to process; consider getting fresh air/different environment; and re-strategize.

@MikeB_MT Sometimes a strategic pause helps. Renew. Refocus. Then go back to your plan. Keep what makes sense. Revise what needs to change. Delete what is no longer essential. And go forward.

@Dwyka_Consult Start again and start from where you are – don't try and start from where you should have/could have/would have been.

Q8. How would you know if your "envisioned dream" should be re-evaluated?

@ZalaB_MT When you've created your plan + goals + actions + timeline, you're constantly checking in. What's the progress, what's working and what's not, and align from there. I've never ever had a plan go from A to B entirely how I planned it. Life happens and there's so much in between.

@SoniaH_MT My "envisioned dream" should be re-evaluated when I've experienced multiple failures despite creating a seemingly logical plan.

Q9. How will you help your team create a successful plan together?

@SarahH_MT I love the process of planning with teams! I like to get everyone's views, suggestions, challenges etc involved. Collaborating on the plan results in everyone feeling more invested, involved, supported, and committed to achieving it.

@ZalaB_MT I think the important lesson here is to create a plan and set goals that lead to creating a common vision/future. Don't let leaders waltz in there and set goals that are totally out of touch and synch with the team. It will fail.

Q10. What planning tools, techniques and visual aids would you recommend?

@leehengyuen I prefer tools that are visual, easy for updating and tracking, colorful, and allow quick responses.

@Midgie_MT I like having the end goal clearly posted in sight, and then... an action plan document that is easily accessible outlining the steps to take. Plus, I have a sign that says, "Does it help or hinder?" to remind myself to consider whether the next thing I am about to do "helps me" or "hinders me" toward the goal achievement. It's that pause that helps me to keep focused rather than get distracted.

To read all the tweets, have a look at the Wakelet collection of this chat.

Coming Up in Our Next #MTtalk on January 20

It's exciting to talk about a new year, new plans, and setting our sights on new goals. However, if you're still dealing with past events, you can't ignore the impact they might have on you. Or that other people think you should be "over it" by now. In our Twitter poll this week, we'd like to know how you feel if someone says, "Surely you/they should be over that?"

Useful Resources for Developing Your Life Plan

If you found the questions and responses interesting, and would like to delve into Mind Tools resources that could help you to develop your own Life Plan, we recommend the following reading list. (Please note that you may need to be a Mind Tools Club or Corporate member to see all of the resources in full.)

The Power of Good Habits

What Is Legacy Thinking?

How to Be More Organized

Read Smarter!

8 Common Goal-Setting Mistakes

Managing Your Career

SMART Goals

The Wheel of Life

Five Golden Rules for Setting Great New Year Career Goals Infographic

8 Rules for Setting New Year Resolutions Video

Personal Goal Setting

Developing a Career Strategy

The post What's Your Life Plan? Balancing Dreams and Reality – #MTtalk Roundup appeared first on Mind Tools.

Many personality frameworks describe differences between people. One model, the Enneagram, offers targeted insight into how people work, and into motivations we may not be conscious of.

The Enneagram is a dynamic nine-type framework about the "whys" of human nature. It aims to raise our awareness of ourselves and others, to help us pay attention as we go about our daily lives. And with all our meetings and busy schedules, a little extra attention doesn't go amiss.

Here's a brief introduction to the Enneagram's nine motivation styles, to get your self-reflection started. As you read these descriptors, think about what motivates you most, and ask yourself if anything sounds like you. You might recognize a colleague or two in the type descriptions, too, so there are also tips for collaborating with each personality type.

1. The Reformer

This personality type adheres to a set of internalized principles and standards and seeks to improve their world in ways that match these ideals. When balanced, Ones bring conscientious integrity to their actions. When things get tougher, they can struggle with perfectionism and a loud inner critic. Working with a One? Speak their language: what principles do you share? Encourage them to relax and not take themselves too seriously.

2. The Helper

This interpersonal personality type is motivated by building close relationships and demonstrating caring through acts of service. They want to care and be cared about, which means they bring a personal touch and excel at meeting people's needs. Challenges come when stressed Twos focus on others at their own expense. To connect with Two colleagues, show your appreciation and help them to meet their own needs, too.

3. The Achiever

Threes are driven by desires for success and validation. They seek to embody the ideals of their environment, whether that's being the best businessperson or a paragon parent. Threes are adaptable, efficient, and excel at presenting and persuading. When stressed, they might overwork or cut corners. When working with this personality type, encourage work-life balance and authenticity – being their whole selves.

4. The Individualist

Got a teammate with an artistic temperament? You might be looking at a Four. These sensitive people are motivated by self-expression, seeking to be true to themselves and distinct from others. This can result in unique and inspired contributions, as well as emotional awareness. Under stress, Fours can get mired in their feelings and struggle to get things done – so encourage them to stay structured and grounded.

5. The Investigator

Fives are driven by the need to understand the world and offer a competent contribution. They often seek mastery of a specific area of interest. This makes them great specialists on your team, bringing both curiosity and a focus on innovation. On an off day, this reserved personality type might struggle to deal with people. When working with Fives, help them to manage making connections without being overwhelmed.

6. The Loyalist

Sixes seek security, and once they've found something they believe in, they'll show loyalty in return. They're naturally skeptical, which makes them excellent troubleshooters. As leaders, they value equality and advocate courageously. Stressed Sixes can over-worry and catastrophize. When working with this personality type, help them to focus on self-belief and optimizing their chances of success rather than minimizing failure.

7. The Enthusiast

Future-oriented Sevens focus on possibilities. Motivated toward a sense of freedom, these people often wear many hats proficiently. They're engaging and adaptable, and if one thing doesn't work out, they can move on to the next. Given their multifaceted attention, stressed Sevens can struggle to focus or commit. When working with colleagues of this type, support them in following through when needed.

8. The Challenger

Who’s in charge? If your Eight colleague isn't, they might want to be. This personality type is motivated by power, driven to make a big impact. Executive presence comes naturally – and, at their best, Eights empower others, too. Stress brings out their intimidating side; Eights don't always realize how strongly they come off. When working with this type, match their energy, and let them know that vulnerability is welcome too.

9. The Peacemaker

Nines seek a sense of connection and unity. They naturally consider all sides of an issue and tend to make good mediators. Their accepting energy puts others at ease and, in the workplace, Nines might find themselves promoted because everyone likes them. While listening to everyone else, stressed Nines can struggle to know their own mind and enact their will. Seek these colleagues' input and support them in asserting themselves.

Learn More About the Enneagram

Because the Enneagram is about human motivation, you'll probably find you're motivated by all nine of these factors at points. Look for the pattern that fits you most often – the one you do repeatedly without thinking about it, on bad days as well as good ones.

If these descriptions piqued your interest, there's a lot of information about the Enneagram that goes into further depth. The more you learn about the model, the more useful it can become. Books by Enneagram pioneers Don Riso and Russ Hudson or Helen Palmer make for good starting points, but even a little self-knowledge can go a long way.

What's your Enneagram type? Do you recognize any other types in your team? Let us know in the comments, below!

About the Author:

Mind Tools content editor/writer Melanie Bell is the author of "The Modern Enneagram," and a certified teacher of the Enneagram, a personality typology that illuminates people's core motivations.

The post The Enneagram – Know Your Motivations appeared first on Mind Tools.

So how can we best motivate others? Whichever method you use, there are surefire ways to motivate and not to motivate.

That's what I reflected on last month, when I wrote about seeing two very different attempts to motivate. I used the Mind Tools Forum to share my experience, and I asked others for their opinions.

Here's some background to the discussion, and a sample of the responses I received.

Demotivational Pep Talks

I live in a neighborhood that houses two kindergartens, two primary schools, a secondary school, and a retirement home. They're all situated along a popular hiking path that many people enjoy using. I usually take this path at least twice a day. (When on maternity leave, I frequented it even more often.) And at least once a day I feel mortified, shocked, or pleasantly surprised by what I hear when I pass these institutions.

I clearly remember one specific situation that led me to ponder motivation. I passed by the secondary school where students were having P.E. outside. They were doing laps, the teacher barking orders at them, and I noticed one was lagging.

Suddenly the P.E. teacher shouted, for everyone to hear, "Come on John, you're not freaking disabled, are you? You'll need to work on you moving your chubby body, will you?" Laughter ensued from the group.

I hate to say it, but I've seen so many shades of this type of motivation, I could write a book! It hurts me even more when ableist language or references to disability or neurodiversity are used. We need to – and can – do better.

I could sense how "John" must've felt. Even if he'd considered trying to finish the lap, he gave up entirely. I thought, "Well, that's the opposite way to motivate a person, let alone help them to embrace something." I got the feeling "John" had not been positively reinforced by the "pep talk."

Encouraging Motivation

But then I passed by the retirement home. There was a group of seniors sitting outside engaged in a group activity: playing the drums. They had big exercise balls and sticks, and they were drumming. There was laughter and fun, and the group facilitator was supporting them excitedly. "Good work, let's hear those drums! You can do it, Mrs X. Now let me hear you, Mr Y. I'm so proud of all of you!" It warmed my heart. For me, that was motivation in its purest form. Not focusing on what a person can't do, but on what they enjoy doing. What you can support them with and encourage them to keep doing (in their own capacity).

In the distance of perhaps a kilometer, I'd seen a dramatic shift in attitude, communication – and motivation.

"As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other for helping others."

Audrey Hepburn

It doesn't matter if your job is educating or taking care of others professionally; there's always somebody that you can influence, support and motivate. Sometimes, words that motivate and cheer people on are the least you can do for a person, and they can have a long-lasting effect.

When you take the time and energy to create that spark in others (and yourself), when you focus on nurturing intrinsic motivation for learning and/or doing something, you can create a valuable, lifelong skill.

In the words of Audrey Hepburn, finding ways to help others to focus on their strengths and less on their weaknesses, cheering them on even if they're not doing it perfectly, can be priceless. It can impact people in ways that we've not imagined before.

Transformational Mindset

When I shared my story in the Forum, Sarah Harvey said that it chimed with her. "I loved reading the two examples you shared," she told me. "The school and the retirement home: I could feel how each of them would have been impacted.

"The phrase I loved the most is: 'cheering them on, even if they're not doing it perfectly, can be priceless.' This is something I always try to do personally and encourage the managers I work with to do with their teams. It really is a transformational mindset."

To Motivate, or to Force?

Supriya Dhongde also shared her thoughts. She noted that it takes a special kind of teacher to motivate someone to learn.

"Whether it's drawing, or learning poems in literature class, schools often ruin the fun of doing any activities. The kids are treated and weighted on the same scale. Motivation is through fear, ridicule or shame [that you won't get good grades]."

Supriya added: "I was appalled by the P.E. teacher's disability comment! How insensitive is this to encourage someone? The end result is that learning becomes a means to assert power, defeat someone in competition, and look down on those who are not able to excel. Our overall education system requires overhauling.

"Bless those teachers who are different and look at learning differently, like the one who was ensuring fun while playing the drums."

I agree. Our students are currently much too motivated (forced?) to learn for grades and get into prestige schools or earn accolades. Unfortunately, intrinsic motivation – learning for fun – is something "not on the curriculum." And many teachers and professors are overworked, overstressed, and do not enjoy teaching at all.

When you're teaching, you give a little bit of yourself, you walk in your students' shoes, and need to see the positives in each and every one of them, beyond grades and your KPIs. If not, you've missed your vocation.

Thought of the Day

What experiences have impacted how you learn, do, and create for fun? Let us know in the comments, below!

Keep an eye out for our next Thought of the Day blog: "Armchair Psychology."

The post To Motivate or Not to Motivate? – Thought of the Day appeared first on Mind Tools.

Productivity research shows that workers are most productive in the autumn, once they're back from their summer vacation. But what about right now? What better time is there to set some goals to motivate yourself and your team?

Organizations can take a fresh look at defining their objectives and breaking down how they'll achieve them. Meanwhile, employees can set individual targets for what they want or need to get done over the next stretch of time.

Goals are a great way to measure progress, define priorities, and expand a knowledge area or skill you're passionate about. But it's so easy to think about what we want to achieve in ambitious, nebulous terms rather than defining the specifics. How do we set goals that matter? How can we make sure that we achieve what we set out to do?

Take our quiz, How Good Is Your Goal Setting? and then read on to discover how you can make your goals SMART – and use them to energize yourself.

SMART Goals Examples

George T. Doran pioneered the SMART goal setting approach in 1981. SMART can stand for a few slightly different sets of words, but Mind Tools uses the primary terms outlined below. Our SMART Goals article has more advice on this type of goal setting.

In short, SMART goals are concrete objectives that make sense in your real-life context. So how can we use them today?

The specific aspect of the SMART framework is about being detailed. Rather than aiming to "write some blog posts" this quarter, I might set a goal detailing the blog posts I'll write, what they'll focus on, and where and when they'll be posted.

Setting a measurable goal involves putting a number to your goal. How many blog posts will I write? What dates and deadlines am I aiming for?

An achievable goal must be something within your capacity to do, taking scope, resources and abilities into account. Let's say I want to create video content but have never done so before. I might need training before putting a video together, and I'll likely not be starting with an hour-long montage!

Relevant goals are ones that matter to you and connect to your context. I might want to learn line dancing, but that's unlikely to be an appropriate goal for my job. A more relevant goal might relate to my organization's overall objectives.

Time-bound goals, like measurable ones, take numbers into account. In this case, it's the timeline and a clear end date. Quarterly goals are one example of this, as they're typically accomplished within a set amount of time (the quarter).

Along with making sure that my goals are SMART, I've found that the following considerations are also important when setting goals at work.

Balancing Business and Personal Development

When setting your own goals within an organization, consider both your own development and the company's overall aims. What do you want to learn? On the other hand, what does the organization (or your team) aim to achieve? What skills can you offer to help them do this? Seek out overlaps between the two lists – between what you want and what the organization wants.

Some organizations differentiate between goals related to personal development, such as learning to use a new form of software, and individual goals related to company aims, such as helping to make sales or create new products. When setting your own goals, try to address both domains. It's important both to support your team and to continue growing and learning.

Sense Check

When setting goals, it helps to bounce ideas off others who know you well. You might discuss goals with your team or manager before finalizing them. Other people offer fresh ideas and a reality check when needed.

Some goal-setting processes have feedback baked in. But if your process is more solitary, try seeking out others to collaborate with and learn from.

Wishing you the best of luck with your goal setting!

What SMART goals will help to re-energize you? What else can you do to get over the mid-year motivation slump? Share your ideas in the comments below!

The post Using SMART Goals to Re-Energize Yourself appeared first on Mind Tools.

This is a question we all wrestle with at some point in our lives and there's rarely an easy answer.

But in a time of immense global uncertainty, it pays to pause and reflect on your life and on what's important to you. There’s never been a better time to consider your personal ikigai.

What Is Ikigai?

Ikigai can be translated as "to live (iki) and reason (gai)" – essentially, what is the source of your daily motivation?

Ikigai can be adopted as a practical philosophy for life, a way to find strength in tough times, and even as a long-term career planner. It can give value to mundane, humdrum activities, while also helping you to identify what you truly value

I think it's fair to say we don't all spring out of bed every morning propelled by our core reason for being. Many of us reluctantly accept we've hit "snooze" on our alarms as much as we can get away with, and drag our weary limbs out of the sheets.

So how can you find your ikigai?

The Four Elements of Ikigai

A Venn diagram of "the four elements" of ikigai has blazed a trail through team chats, boardrooms, and HR presentations in recent years.

Albert Liebermann and Hector Garcia popularized this way of applying ikigai with their book, "Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life."

This diagram shows ikigai as the convergence of four areas of life: what you love, what you're good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for.

The very center, where each area overlaps, is your ikigai – your reason for getting up and where you should focus your efforts to find ultimate fulfillment.

Whether you’re a janitor, journalist or Jeff Bezos, if you find your Ikigai, you’ll find pleasure and value in what you do.

The Five Pillars of Ikigai

Beyond your career, ikigai can become a framework for approaching life in general. Tokyo-based neuroscientist and author Ken Mogi identifies the five central pillars of ikigai as:

• Starting small
• Releasing yourself
• Harmony and sustainability
• The joy of little things
• Being in the here and now

According to Mogi, these pillars formed as a natural extension of the Japanese mindset and culture. Still, he acknowledges that anyone can adopt these tenets in their life.

Much like mindfulness, the key is to be present in the moment. At the same time, it's unmistakably about looking forward – the anticipation of that cup of coffee or weekend activity. And crucially, it's about savoring the moments when they arrive.

Many of us live our lives always planning the next thing, trapped in a constant state of busyness. There's truth in the adage that "life is what happens when we're busy making plans." I'm certainly guilty of living around the corner: "If I just get here, or do this, I'll be happy, I'll be content."

Yes, I eagerly anticipate that morning cup of coffee, but by the time it arrives I've usually got one eye on the clock, my mind frantically calculating the fastest route to the office while I'm throwing on my jacket.

Where Buddhism teaches you to shed the things you crave to find freedom and peace, ikigai is about appreciating and consciously enjoying those things once you have them.

Mogi uses the examples of a tea-pouring ceremony and the daily routine of a Sumo wrestler, both of which require the application of the pillars. Taken in this way, ikigai can be found in simple pleasures, like your weekend hobby or morning exercise routine. Iikigai teaches you to look forward to something and savor the moment when it arrives.

Ikigai and Your Career

Taking the cue from the four elements diagram, seeking your ikigai is akin to finding your dream job.

Imagine combining what you love, what you're good at, what the world needs, and – the kicker – what you can get paid for. Is it even possible?

Finding Your Calling

This seems especially tricky if, like me, you haven't got a clue what you want for dinner, let alone what your ultimate calling in life is.

We've all heard stories of dramatic career changes in pursuit of dreams. Like ditching the nine-to-five to become a ski instructor, or quitting a high-powered corporate role to retrain as a midwife.

But it doesn't have to be so drastic.

Consider which types of tasks give you the most pleasure in your current job:

• Do you enjoy managing people or working in isolation on technical tasks?
• Do you get satisfaction from solving complex issues or prefer giving presentations and chairing interviews?
• Do you like directly managing stakeholders or do you love to get stuck into a spreadsheet?

By slowly sifting out the aspects of your work you don't enjoy, and increasing what you do, you can start to gain a sense of your ikigai.

Saving the World

But does this cover the trickiest aspect to ascertain – is it something the world needs?

This selfless, giving aspect of ikigai traditionally manifests as giving yourself over to something other than yourself. This isn't perhaps as difficult as it first appears.

You don’t need to quit your job to go retrain as a vet or start a charity. The first pillar of ikigai teaches us to 'start small.' Giving yourself over to something else can be as simple as offering to buy your elderly neighbors some groceries, taking a day out to volunteer, or providing apprenticeships to underprivileged community members. Small moments and gestures of kindness can have a dramatic impact on how you feel about the other areas of your life.

Many organizations already engage with the third pillar of ikigai ('harmony and sustainability') by adopting a "triple bottom line" – placing profit alongside the impact on the planet and people as a measure of success. This approach to social responsibility can manifest a greater sense of purpose that has a subtle, but powerful, effect on how we relate to our work. Especially on a dreary Monday morning...

Finding Flow

You might be thinking that finding your ultimate calling is all well and good, but right now you're struggling to feel engaged in your job and it doesn't look like there's a way out of it any time soon. Ikigai, as a way of life, doesn't just have to be about finding your mission: it can help you today – right now!

Ken Mogi vouches for pleasure through absorption in an activity. Work can become an end in itself – not something to endure to get something else, like a promotion or bonus.

Mogi uses Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's concept of being "in flow" to illuminate how getting lost in even the most mundane of tasks can bring you a sense of reward and freedom. (This is related to the pillars "releasing yourself" and "being in the here and now").

Whether you're washing the dishes or working through a spreadsheet, once in flow, you can gain pleasure from work and release yourself from the need for reward and recognition. Ironically, this can make you more likely to be rewarded and recognized.

Of course, this doesn’t preclude having goals or a long-term plan. It simply asks us to be more present and make the most of the life we're living right now.

We all experience ups and downs in our careers. By finding pleasure in the "flow," even the most mundane of tasks can become rewarding, and help to see us through a rough patch.

A Philosophy for Life

Japan is a notoriously work-obsessed country. Along with innovative workplace developments (including the game-changing kanban and Kaizen systems), Japan is also known as the land of crammed dawn commuter trains, limited paid time off, and it even has a word for death from overwork (karoshi).

It might be tempting to consider ikigai as little more than a coping mechanism – a way of stretching yourself to the limit in a brutal work environment. But ikigai is more than simply maintaining hope and concentration in high-pressure situations.

Blue Zones

In David Buttner's book, "Blue Zones," he identifies several areas of the world with peculiarly high numbers of centenarians. This includes Nuoro in Sardinia, Loma Loma in California, and Okinawa, Japan.

He describes the northern province of Okinawa as the "ground zero" of longevity. It just so happens to be the home of ikigai, too.

In his 2009 TED talk, Buttner recounts his meetings with these Okinawans. He met a woman cradling her great-great-great-great granddaughter. He also hung out with a 100-year-old fisherman – on asking what his ikigai is, the man said catching fish to feed his family three times a week.

Buettner identifies several aspects of each long-living community, including committing to something beyond yourself and having a sense of purpose. Retirement can be a difficult transition to make. But Okinawan residents with a strong ikigai (including a 102-year-old practicing karate teacher) don't experience a sense of loss or lack of direction when they retire – their purpose for life continues.

As Buttner puts it, cultures with a high percentage of centenarians all have a "vocabulary for a sense of purpose." This is crucial for a successful retirement.

Looking Forward

Now, I don't know about you, but I stress about the little things, don't have a solid career plan, and I can struggle to concentrate on mundane tasks (let alone find joy in them).

But...

Since discovering ikigai I've unwittingly adopted certain aspects of the five pillars. I found myself stopping to enjoy the rain on my walk home, rather than speeding up to avoid it (the joy of little things); I try not to take credit for all the little work "victories" (releasing myself); and I try to take at least 30-minutes a day to do exercise or mindfulness, anything that slows my racing mind (being in the here and now).

By combining the perfect career-seeking powers of the Venn diagram, with the more foundational five pillars, you can build up to something new.

I'm not there yet, but I can almost see my ikigai. It's in my peripheral vision, just around the corner – but I'm choosing to look at the here and now.

Recommended Resources

These Mind tools resources offer more insight on finding purpose, motivation, efficiency and proficiency in your career. Mind Tools members have full access to the following tools.

Creating Job Satisfaction

Improve Your Concentration

Theory Z

How Can Stoicism Help You at Work?

Deming's 14-Point Philosophy

Working With Purpose

The post What's Your Ikigai? Finding Meaning in Work and Life appeared first on Mind Tools.

Do you have something you know you need to do – and you know how to do it – but you just can’t bring yourself to do it? Procrastination, dawdling, postponement, Akrasia – they’re all synonyms for the same ailment: not doing today what needs to be done today. And we all have these moments at some point in our lives.

"If you put off everything 'till you're sure of it, you'll never get anything done."

Norman Vincent Peale, U.S. author

So, why do these moments happen? For example, I knew I wanted to write this blog post, and I knew I had a deadline to meet. But I just couldn’t bring myself to write it any sooner than the last minute. Why the delay? What causes us to feel so challenged about doing something we know how to do? 

Size It Up, Seize the Day

I had a conversation with my 15-year-old son, who is struggling with his English Language school work. He could not, in any way, motivate himself to write his assignments. 

I asked him what he felt were the challenges of getting his work done. He responded that some of the essays were just too long, and it intimidated him to think about how much time and effort it would take to complete them. 

I asked him if he could write one paragraph on the topic. He said he could. Then I asked if he could write two paragraphs. Again, he said he could. I carried on asking the same question, and he kept saying he could. 

Eventually, we got to the full length of the document (four pages), and he realized that he could do the whole essay. It wasn’t the size of the document that troubled him, it was the thought of the size of the document. 

Don't Let Procrastination Flaw You

Delaying doing something is often referred to as "procrastination." This is defined as the force that prevents you from following through on what you set out to do. 

Procrastination is a human flaw that has been around forever. So it’s been discussed many times and many people have suggested solutions.

Not delaying on things you know how to do can provide a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. On the other hand, delaying these issues can often generate poor mental health and a sense of dissatisfaction. 

So, what does it take to stop delaying those things you know you need to do?

The "Why" of Procrastination

Our value system, as humans, has a lot to do with why we delay doing things. If given a choice between enjoying something small now or something larger, later, we tend to choose the smaller, immediate reward. 

An example is goal setting. Now goal setting is a positive activity, if you do it properly. But think of your New Year’s Resolution as an example of goal setting that can go wrong.

You experience the rewards for your New Year’s Resolution in the future, over time. Let’s say you promise to stop eating chocolate. At first, you succeed, and experience an immediate reward thanks to the satisfaction you experience from sticking to your goal. 

However, slowly you start to question the benefit of not eating chocolate. You start eating just a little at first, in order to feed your need for immediate satisfaction. 

Soon, one chocolate becomes many, because you’re more satisfied by the short-term reward of eating chocolate, than by the long-term and invisible benefits of not eating chocolate.

The "What" of Procrastination

At some point, we feel enough pressure, guilt, motivation, or whatever you choose to name it, and we move the future into the present. For example, my delaying writing this blog was fine when the deadline was far into the future. Now, though, the deadline is looming rapidly. 

This means that the future consequences are now present consequences. If I don’t get moving on writing the blog, I’ll miss the deadline and experience all there is that goes along with that outcome. 

I have to understand this in the present, because the deadline is upon me. There is a choice to be made – do I ignore the deadline or do I do everything I can to meet it? The decision I make depends on how I feel about the outcome. 

Will I still have the opportunity to write a blog in the future? How much do I enjoy writing a blog? Will I feel more satisfied once I’ve written the post than I would if I didn’t? All of these considerations will affect the decision.

The "How" of Procrastination

As well as outcomes that you may not enjoy, delaying the things you should be doing can also become harmful to your physical and mental well-being.

For example, if you go to the gym by yourself and decide one morning that you’re not in the mood, that won’t impact your physical health too badly. However, if it becomes a habit, not going to the gym could impact your physical health significantly in the long run. 

How do we, then, overcome this delaying process? There are several strategies that have come from a variety of research. One such approach is called Temptation Bundling, developed by Professor Katy Milkman at the University of Pennsylvania. Milkman suggests doing the thing you’re delaying with another thing that you enjoy.

In our gym example, make an arrangement to meet your best friend at the gym every morning. You can then exercise and socialize together, making the experience much more pleasant and easier to commit to. 

Another method of heading off procrastination is to reduce the size of the task, by breaking it into smaller pieces. As with my son's procrastination episode and his reluctance to write a four-page essay. Breaking that task down into paragraphs made it seem more “doable.”

What Next?

Changing your mindset, from procrastinating to doing what you know you need to do, will produce better outcomes in your life, and make you feel better about yourself. And moving rewards in your value system, and how you think about them, can help in breaking that "delaying" cycle. 

Having an external influence to help remind you of the things that need to be done, and even to offer help, can make you feel better about completing tasks today. Instead of in a future that isn't real. 

How to Do What You Know You Need to Do

During the #MTtalk Twitter chat last Friday, we talked about how to do the things you know you need to do. Here are the questions we asked and some of your most insightful responses:

Q1. What do you need to do – and how do you feel about that?

@emapirciu I have a long to-do list every day. Sometimes I feel motivated, but there are days in which I feel like burning that list and watching TikTok all day.

@PdJen I need to make more time for training and professional development. I also need to learn how to be more patient! I’m trying on both fronts!

Q2. Why might a hard-working, self-disciplined person fail to do what they need to do?

@Yolande_MT Emotional distress of any kind might cause someone not to be their usual diligent self.

@PG_pmp Maybe they have not realized their strength and are unable to channel their energy in the right direction.    

Q3. Is it just about procrastination, or is there more to not doing what you know you need to do?

@SizweMoyo Procrastination might be the easiest conclusion to reach but there are more reasons why reality may have unfolded different from your visualisation meditation.

@llake Trauma/unanticipated disruption can make us hesitate or completely stop. It isn't about procrastination. It's more about being in tune to what is needed at the moment. A transformation of energy.

Q4. What and who prevent us from doing what we know we need to do?

@JKatzaman We are usually the deciders of what, when and why we do things. Waiting for motivation to be delivered might not be a positive experience.

@NeViNShCe1 Laziness, other more fun tasks, social media... but most of all for me it's when I don't know WHY I need to do something. That kills me on my best days.

Q5. What is the first step you take to get started?

@MicheleDD_MT I create my goal. I need the end point to help me see the path forward. I make the goal as vivid as possible to motivate me.

@TwinkleEduCons Make a plan and start with something small - maybe even something you are already doing/have already done. Break it down into manageable, less daunting parts. Visualizing the end result can help to motivate us to start!

Q6. What can you do to break the pattern of unproductive/unhelpful behavior?

@ColfaxInsurance Focus on what you can accomplish now, no matter how small. As an example - have to start getting out of bed at 6am, but keep hitting snooze? Move the alarm so you physically have to get out of bed to shut it off.

@TheToniaKallon Shifting productivity mindset:

1) Identify what's holding you back (i.e. lack of info, low motivation, fear of failure)
2) Take small steps toward change (i.e. breaking projects into smaller tasks)
3) Recognize change takes time & unproductive patterns can be hard to break

Q7. What is the most useful tip you've been told about getting things done – and who told you?

@carriemaslen Don't over-think is great advice. Requires us letting go of perfection and accepting/seeking Good Enough.

@LernChance Do a time and task plan. Prioritize, prepare, execute. Actually, I don’t remember who told me. I guess it's a mix of what I read and my experience.  

Q8. Which technology is helpful/unhelpful for getting important stuff done?

@Yolande_MT Your phone, tablet, television can be unhelpful, but so can a book. In the end it's not about what we use, but how and when we choose to engage with it.

@NeViNShCe1 I find it helpful to work in a Team. Technology is great when I can automate a task. Reminders are great. Anything that writes the words for me. But most of the time pen and paper will do the hard work at the beginning 

Q9. How can our peers help or hinder us to keep on track?

@Midgie_MT Peers can help us by reminding us of what we said we would do. If and when we stray off track, they could provide gentle reminders!

@llake Well-meaning advice can sound like gospel. We're trained to hear outside voices when the voice that matters is the one when our soul speaks. I find the best help is when someone repeats back to me what I said or what they thought I said so I can hear it more clearly. 

Q10. When someone hasn't done the thing they need to – how can you best help them?

@emapirciu Make sure people want help before deciding you want to be a hero. Unsolicited assistance is not cool.

@SizweMoyo Try cheering them on or working on the task with them. My friends usually respond to these two gestures.

To read all the tweets, have a look at the Wakelet collection of this chat over here.

Coming Up

If you don't do what you know you need to do, it erodes your self-esteem. That might be one of the reasons why you start your sentences with "I'm sorry, but/to ..."

In our next #MTtalk chat, we're going to talk about how to stop apologizing for everything and anything. In our poll this week, we'd like to know your perspective on saying sorry all the time. To see the poll and cast your vote, please click here.

Resources

Want to dig a little deeper? Here are relevant resources for you to explore. Some may only be available in full to members of the Mind Tools Club.

Are You a Procrastinator?

How to Stop Procrastinating?

Personal Goal Setting

10 Common Time Management Mistakes

Self-Discipline

Self-Sabotage

What Is Time Management?

Improve Your Concentration

The post How to Do What You Know You Need to Do – #MTtalk Roundup appeared first on Mind Tools.

But bad teachers are just as memorable and influential, though for all the wrong reasons. I remember a few teachers I've had that have taught me that teaching isn't for everyone.

"I Don't Enjoy Teaching"

As a kid, I really wanted to be able to sing and play the guitar. I envisioned myself performing on a sold-out tour to a crowd of adoring fans, my name in lights. (I was a bit of a fantasist back then.)

But considering I'd never even held a guitar before, I was probably going to need a few lessons first. So, after making some inquiries in our area, my mom found a local guitar tutor with a good reputation. Apparently, he even made his own guitars. Promising... So my mom got in touch and arranged an introductory lesson. Worldwide tour, here I come!

We arrived at the tutor's house, and he let us both in. He showed us his workshop and all his beautiful handcrafted guitars. First impressions were good so far. He showed me the different strings and frets (I really was starting from scratch!) and a few basic chords. "This is great," I thought. "I can already taste the fame!" We immediately scheduled another lesson.

But that was about as good as it got. Just as we were about to leave, he told me, "I don't enjoy teaching." Oh.

A Demotivation Spiral

And unfortunately, that quickly became apparent in our lessons. He never seemed fully present or particularly happy. He would check his phone every so often, and I felt like I was just wasting his time – he obviously had better things to get on with. Neither of us enjoyed the hour-long sessions, and, as a result, I would never practice at home.

I found myself stuck in a catch-22: I was unwilling to put in the effort outside of lessons because they were so unenjoyable, but that made them all the more tedious because I never made any progress!

My plans for stardom faded away, and I simply didn't care enough to try anymore. Who wants a Grammy anyway?!

Hitting the Right Note

But one week I had a burst of motivation and, for once, sat down to practice. I tried to remember what he'd taught me – practice the bars slowly and gradually build up speed – and I repeated it over and over until it came easily.

The following lesson was the best we ever had. He could see that I had applied myself and practiced, and he could now help me move on to something harder. I felt a sense of pride and achievement, and he was evidently more enthused to teach.

Looking back, I can understand how demotivating and almost insulting it must have been for him to see that I hadn't bothered to practice each week. In truth, he wasn't a bad teacher – he had the skills and expertise to teach, after all. He just lacked passion for teaching, which was exacerbated in large part by my unwillingness to do my bit.

Teaching When You Don't Want to Teach

On the other hand, I recall having a Film Studies tutor at university who was reluctant to teach, despite the fact that his students were fully committed.

He was a Ph.D. student, and in order to attain his qualification he had to lead undergraduate seminars. You'd think that since he was teaching his chosen topic of European Cinema, he'd be enthusiastic and inspired, eager to discuss the great early filmmakers like Jean-Luc Goddard and Roberto Rossellini with like-minded individuals. But you'd be wrong.

Every two-hour class was the same: we'd watch part of a film that we'd already seen, and then sit in almost complete silence. It was agonizing.

The tutor barely attempted to fuel the discussion, seldom asking questions to spark debate and never responding to our contributions. It was like trying to get blood from a stone!

It was no surprise that by the end of the term, only a handful of us would come to his seminars – and we only showed up for a good attendance score!

He struck me as a bad teacher not only because he lacked mentoring skills – there was no teaching strategy, and he seemed too nervous to speak, unable to lead the class effectively – but also because he wasn't willing to put any effort in. We all did the reading each week, but he never enabled us to discuss it properly. Likely he only ran the classes to get a good attendance score, too. He was doing the bare minimum to achieve his Ph.D..

Bad Student or Bad Teacher?

Now I'm having driving lessons and I've been through a number of different instructors.

One of them, like my guitar teacher, made it very clear that he didn't enjoy teaching. He would often cancel the lesson at short notice and give a half-hearted excuse. "Am I so bad that he can't face another lesson with me?" I often wondered. "Am I just unteachable?!"

But whenever he did give me a lesson, he always seemed bored and annoyed when I made a mistake (and I made a lot of mistakes). I lost my confidence, which of course made me a worse learner. I wouldn't ask questions – too afraid I might look stupid. And I would constantly second-guess myself. Before a lesson was over, I'd already be dreading the next.

Then a COVID-19 lockdown put an emergency stop to our lessons, and I was secretly quite relieved. We never scheduled another.

How to Avoid Being a Bad Teacher

My current driving instructor is the complete opposite. He always seems happy to see me, he welcomes questions, and he focuses each lesson on what I want to cover. He gives me lots of constructive feedback and encouragement, and he always seems eager to begin.

Better yet, he uses a variety of teaching strategies to accommodate me. Sometimes he'll use diagrams to explain maneuvers, or he'll even do a demonstration so that I know what an emergency stop should feel like, for example. (I was always a little too tentative on the brakes.)

In contrast, my "bad" teachers all lacked passion for teaching. I think they forgot why they were teaching in the first place. A reluctant teacher isn't necessarily a bad teacher, but I've learned that enthusiasm is required for students to flourish.

Certain jobs evidently aren't for everyone. But while it may not be easy to change your career in the fallout of COVID-19, there are small changes you can make to improve your job satisfaction. If you're feeling stuck in a role that you don't enjoy, download our 2021 Life Plan.

Have you had any bad teachers who hindered your learning? Were you able to make it a better experience? Let us know in the comments!

The post Teachers – The Good, the Bad, and the Unwilling appeared first on Mind Tools.